Getting comfortable?

I’ll have to say right off that until yesterday, I had not read any of Frank McCourt’s books. The interview in NEA Today introduced him as an award winning author of Angela’s Ashes and Tis. He was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Biography in 1997. What interested me most about him was the nearly twenty years he taught in the New York City public schools.

He expressed his opinions about teaching, testing, lack of respect, and No Child Left Behind, and that if teaching were more  "sexy," or  fashionable, more people would be trying to get into the profession. He has the years of experience that I don’t have, so I defer to what he has to say. Not only has he taught almost three times longer than I have, but he taught in high schools, to teenagers during the post war times of the Eisenhower administration. A tough crowd of kids to impress, a tough crowd to teach.

I haven’t read his latest book yet, Teacher Man, but I have ordered it. I suppose it struck my interest because of the feeling of frenzy that develops this time of year in school.

Parents suddenly wake up to the fact that their kids are not doing well in a subject, or more than one subject, and they want to know why. It doesn’t matter that they’ve seen a total of at least four progress reports, including two report cards by now, or that they’ve had at least three phone calls informing them that their child is not turning in homework, or that newsletters go home with homework assignments and project due dates every week!

One thing Mr. McCourt noted (in the interview) that struck a familiar note was this:

"...it took me (fifteen years) to begin to feel comfortable in the classroom, so that I could enjoy myself. And I think that's much more intensive than any doctor's internship."

I hope I don't have to wait fifteen years!

Certainly there are many moments of delight and pleasure when someone grasps what I am teaching. There are days when the kids are on and the teaching is on, and we celebrate in the classroom together. The kids know genuine success when they see it. But when will I feel comfortable in the classroom?

Frank McCourt must have found the answer during those fifteen years he was adjusting to the climate of the classroom and the attitudes of the students (and parents, and other teachers).

Another thought is this: maybe we're not supposed to become comfortable in the teaching profession, or any profession. Maybe there is something in the nature of uncomfortableness that urges us to make changes in what we do and how we do it in order to decrease the discomfort, to make it familiar. And with familiarity, we are then more qualified for the next round of challenges.

Yes, that must be what it is! It's okay to be uncomfortable if it causes you to improve in some way, perfect in some way, to search for a more effective solution. I don't have to be comfortable in the classroom! As long as I'm trying to solve the problems I encounter on a regular basis, and as long as I'm seeing positive results, it is okay to be uncomfortable.

He ends the interview with this suggestion: "Find what you love and do it."

Blogging here at AOL is different than keeping a handwritten journal. There are options here that aren't available in my composition books that I'd never considered until I started enjoying them here.

One of the things I like about blogging is the entry-response factor. I make an entry, and someone is likely to respond, whether to say "good entry," just to let me know they came by for a visit, or to say "I understand," or a comment that extends from my entry and leads into their journal with a link. Either way, I am amused and warmed by some of the comments that visitors leave behind. Other times, I am made to reconsider my words, realizing that what I intended to express, and what was received by the reader may not be quite the same message. This reminds me to think carefully before I write, particularly when commenting on public things like education.

Another feature I benefit from is the public nature of blogging... I get to visit other people's journals and leave comments with them. Sometimes I just leave a brief "great entry!" just to let them know I was there, and other times I leave a little more, or a lot more because I had something to say about the topic, or just to share a similar experience, or to say I understand because I've been there.

Often, an email will follow, something more personal from the journaler, and I know I have made a new friend in another state. Journal Land journalers are the nicest people! They are encouraging, polite, thoughtful, and patient. I've read stories that were sad, painful, filled with anxiety and frustration, followed by comments from the readers, words that inspired, encouraged, supported, and motivated the journaler through their crisis. And the tags they send each other! They are adorable.

During the school week, I easily pick up on the humorous and the trivial entries of others, and will jump on the journal challenges that others create. Like the Einstein writing on the board today from John's By The Way, or the Ten things you see for yourself in the next five years. Responding to these entries, and reading others' responses to the same entry, is fun and light, and breaks the tension of the day for me. It's like having my own personal comedy central right here at the computer (well, that and my dogs... they keep me laughing, too!). That is why you may see several days of frivolous, silly, or entertaining entries about nothing serious. I need to do those entries just as much as I need to take the time to be more insightful about my work and my life.

I do like balance, though. So do the other journalers... spend some time cruising through anyone's journal and you are sure to find some serious essays on raising kids, developing friendships, finding romance, dealing with grief and loss, making life-changing decisions, and issues at work. Lots of work stories!

Tomorrow I will write about Frank McCourt, a Pulitzer Prize winning author. I just read an article about him today in an educational magazine, neatoday. Some things he said in the interview I read gave me pause, and I'd like to respond in my blog. Tomorrow.

Today, Steve was looking into getting tickets to see Cirque du Soleil because I had said I'd love to go see them. They're going to be performing in Greensboro at the Coliseum in May... tickets were $99.50 per person for the ground floor, and $89.50 for the first level!... I don't want to pay that kind of money to see them. I think they are pretty amazing aerialists, acrobats, and gymnasts, and I know they have huge expenses to move their show around the country, but I'll settle for the TV viewings. Maybe another day, but not this year!

It's been a restful day. Mostly I have piddled about between reading that great book I started yesterday, cuddling with my husband, vaccuuming the floors, bathing the dog, and reading that great book some more. It's been a very good day. Just what I needed. Actually, I need one of these kind of days more than once every two or three weeks... would love to have them every week, but our schedules don't make it so. Ah me, fact of life.

Einstein on board

John, at By The Way, sent out a fun and frivolous link. If you click on the first link in this line, you can go there too.

Help Einstein write something funny, poetic, or intelligent on the board. You can save it to your journal page, too, like I did, and leave a link so we can come see your Einstein wisdom.

I wrote a quote of his, a personal favorite of mine since he possessed both. He oughta know!

Saturday, New Book, and What to do?

I got the book... THE book... The Ghost Brigades by John Scalzi, ... it came in Thursday. I started reading it last night... great beginning! Can't write much now... will be back later. My hubby is home today, and we're considering our choices for today. What shall we do? Hmmm.

Weekend Assignment #100

Weekend Assignment #100: Share 10 facts about yourself -- from the next five years. Imagine what you see happening over the next half decade and then tell us about it, in interesting fact form. You can be serious, or silly, or somewhere in between. But give it some real thought and then take a stab at your future facts. If you find 10 facts too much, just do five. Either way it'll be fun.

Extra Credit: So, who's president in 2011?

1. In 2011, I am 58 years old, and by then my son is a full-fledged pharmacist.

2. Which means, he may be married by then, and I’ll be a grandmother by then. Hope. Smile.

3. If I am still teaching, I am in my 12th year. I am teaching at another school by then, having found that I needed a change in scenery by the end of 2007. Another school had called me in, offering not more money, but a chance to teach a small group of autistic kids. Very few teachers were willing to accept the job, so I jumped in.

4. My mother finally gives in and decides to let her kids take care of her, so in 2008, she moves in with me and my husband. We can not very well handle her in our limited space, and she is not comfortable with the arrangement either, so we buy a small home for her, and she moves in. It’s just five miles from our own home. We love it.

5. I didn’t take my doctor’s advice in 2006 to exercise regularly, so I have a heart attack in 2009. It is not severe, and I recuperate, however, it gives me time to think. I decide that the stress of teaching was the real cause, and I quit my job. I also start walking five days a week.

6. Since I now have time on my hands that I haven’t had in years, I journal like crazy for over a year, and during that time of reflection, I am inspired to write a book that I had been thinking about writing for years.

7. I follow the example of Karen, who is very famous for her Mavarin series that did very well across the country following its publication in early 2007. I buy all of her books as they are released, then do some research of my own. In 2010, and send my story out to various editors.

8. In the meantime, I paint a series of inspired watercolors that illustrate my walk of faith using metaphorical images.

9. My story is rejected by every editor that year, and I nearly give up, but Karen reminds me that she never gave up. She encourages and supports me, offering some names of editors who might be interested. I listen to her.

10. By 2011, I get a letter of hope from an infant publishing company, whose editor likes my story proposal and the first three chapters. She is willing to make me an offer. I accept it, and rewrite my story following her suggestions. Oh, and in the fall of that year, my husband and I attend the latest Science Fiction blockbuster, Old Man’s War. It sells more tickets in the first three days than Serenity did at the box office six years earlier.

 

If you'd like to participate, and write your own facts about yourself over the next five years, make an entry in your journal, then go to John' s site and leave a link. You can get to his website by clicking on the highlighted words at the beginning of this entry.

Seeing Stars: Photo Shoot Assignment

Monday Photo shoot: Seeing Stars

Your Monday Photos Shoot: Take a picture (or find a picture) of something with stars -- the "twinkle, twinkle" kind, not the "famous people" kind. However, they don't have to be real stars: Fake stars -- like the ones on Christmas trees, on neon signs or on the Hollywood Walk of Fame are just fine, too.

From John's journal page, By The Way.

I wasn't planning on doing this one until today when I saw these words posted above the computers in the workshop I attended all day:

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among the stars!

Well, I didn't have my camera to photograph the colorful banner, which included a universe of stars, but decided to use the photos I took here at  home to show the stars, in two contexts.

The first is the Christmas card my memere sent to us back in 1985. It is special because my grandmother didn't write many letters, nor send many cards. I am a saver of cards, and the one above finds its place of honor on a shelf or on the fireplace mantel every year because it reminds me of her boisterous and loving spirit. Her handwriting inside reads simply:

"From memere who loves youse all Big Steve small steve"

Now there was a woman who mastered brevity in her writing.

But I know the love was great that held the pen and mailed the card to me. She lived more than half her life in Connecticut, I believe. She spoke with a heavy Canadian French accent, claiming all my life that she came to our country in a banana boat, and that one of her descendants was an Indian princess (Canada region). Of course, I believed her. Her mother's last name was Montmity, but I know I'm misspelling it. She spoke fluent French, which is why, in high school and college, I took French instead of Spanish. I haven't used it since, but enjoy listening to it.

Whenever I hear someone speak French, I remember my memere, who could cook up a mean pot of pigs' feet. I never learned to like pigs' feet, but memere did, and I remember she'd have a pot for special occasions, like Thanksgiving Day, or just because the family was coming over. She loved to laugh and tell jokes, she loved Frank Sinatra (told me once he could eat crackers in her bed anytime), Lawrence Welk, and loved to teach her grandkids songs in French. We learned one that started "La petite fille de memere, allez belles ..." anyway, I don't remember all the words, but it was a naughty song, and she would laugh when her littlest ones sang it back to her. What a laugh that woman had! It's what I remember most about her.

The other object with stars is The Discoverers by Daniel Boorstin. If you click on view larger, you'll see the cover better. I loved the subtitle: A History of Man's Search to Know His World and Himself. Isn't that what we all do, search to know our world and ourselves?

If you look really close at the picture on the cover, you'll see the stars  in the night sky, and in the lower left corner, a man on his knees crawling at the edge of the known world, breaking through and peering into what may be the unknown world, leading him to yet undiscovered knowledge, inventions, and lands. I love this illustration representing man's discoveries, how throughout time man has discovered the things that today we take for granted, and possibly can't imagine living without.

The book is subdivided into four broad sections: Time (how we came to measure time, and make it portable), The Earth and Seas (history of man's discovery of the earth, the lands, the search, pilgrimages or invasions, for new lands and new trading routes), Nature (from the invisible, medical, and scientific, to giving everything a name, and evolution), and Society (history of history, writing, the impact Christianity and Islam had on the world, modern times discoveries of mathematical formulas, and the use of equations and statistics to make predictions). It's a lot to read, and someday, I will finish this book!

The jacket art credit on the back flap states that the picture is an early 16th century woodcut. Amazing, isn't it, that he captured an image of what captures our interest today.  Consider some of the expressions we use to express our desire to grow and learn, even today: "pushing the envelope"  "reaching for the stars", "the sky is the limit (though clearly, it isn't here!),  "searching to the ends of the earth" or "going boldly where no man has gone before!"

Maybe you can think of a few others related to this image. If you think of others, I'd love for you to write them in your comments. The book was published in 1983, Random House.

These are the stars I was thinking about today. The kind we want our kids to reach for.

 

Talent and Spiritual Gifts

This morning our congregation was treated to a worship service filled with the beautiful harmonizing voices of the Belles and Sons in Concert, a group of Senior High school Students from Southern Alamance High School. They were superb!

Several of our own youth were in the choir, and so proud we were when each one stepped up to do their solos.

In particular, a couple of the students I remember from long ago, when they were pre-school age or younger. I recall Jon as a toddler, cuddling in his mother's or father's lap, sitting in front of me.

I watched Jon, his sister, and his three cousins, grow up in our church. I taught them all Sunday School. I thank God for leading me into this area of service... had I not accepted the role, I know now how much I would have missed.

I would have missed planning all those Sunday School lessons, and then I would have missed the opportunity to teach the children about the Word of God, and the life of Jesus. I would have missed their questions, and their thoughts after we'd read a passage or a story. I would have missed their personal stories, suddenly  recalled as we discussed Jesus' teachings, and I would have missed their laughter and joy as they interpreted stories through role playing, painting pictures, or writing poems. I would not have heard their prayers, nor their songs, nor their words of encouragement to each other when difficult tasks were encountered. I would neither have heard wisdom from their own mouths. By far, that would have been a true loss.

Most of the kids I taught years ago have either graduated, or will graduate soon, and there are several others just beginning the youth group, and I miss them already.

I have a few kids that attend, not so regularly, but when they do, I am once again privileged to teach an old familiar story to a new set of ears. And once again, I can ask them, "What do you think Jesus meant when he said that?" or "What would you have done if you were (the leper, the blind man, the paralytic...etc)?" or any other question that would get them to think about what we had just read, and try to apply it to their own lives. Only from this vantage point can I see the spark in their eyes when they understand, when the story they may have heard a year or so ago now takes on new meaning because they are older.

Yes, they have to hear the old Bible stories over and over again. As their awareness increases, so does their capacity to understand, to generate new ideas, and to put what they learn into action.

Today, those children are young men and women. Their voices are in training. They have become disciplined in this way. They are using their natural talent to tell the Good News. As their Youth Chaplain explained it: your natural talent can be used to share your spiritual gift. The young people I heard singing were doing that this morning.

I know their mothers and fathers were proud of them. I smiled and shared their joy... we all did. This is the part of Christian life I love so much: the community of saints serving the Lord, raising their children with a common history and faith, and worshiping together.

 

 

Understanding and Appreciation of Differences

The hit counter disappeared again, and when it returned, it started from the beginning... again. Grrr... So, this time, I'm finished with it. I will not restore it.

It is Sunday, the sun is shining... yesterday here in Graham, North Carolina, which is about an hour's drive from the Virginia border, we did experience a variety of precipitation. Sleet, snow, misty rain all through the morning. Today, though, it is cold and dry... little hope for the snow day many of us desire.

I finished Old Man's War... I thoroughly enjoyed the book, and look forward to The Ghost Brigades.

I wrote in a previous entry that I became a reader of science fiction in my senior year of high school, all throughout my college years, and shortly thereafter (70's-80's). I didn't realize it was considered "hard" science fiction back then. I hadn't done any research or reading about science fiction. I just liked to read it.

I'll admit that when I first read a volume of Robert Heinlein, as a high school student, I didn't understand much of the terminology, but learned that in science fiction, I didn't really have to understand it (the technical stuff) to enjoy and appreciate the theme of the story.

However, as an adult, who is comparatively more aware of where we (the world) are technologically (in general) regarding science, space flight, computers, warfare, and medicine, reading science fiction becomes even more interesting and intriguing. There is a cleverness about the language, the machines, the equipment, and the cultures one reads about.

One needs only to let go of what is possible and real today, or connect to what is familiar today, to appreciate a strange new world where human values may, or may not, be the same as they are here and now, or what they may have been long ago.

One can even do the same regarding present day peoples and cultures: how different the practices of others who do not share our beliefs, history, language, or geographic location. We have to be careful that "different" is not synonymous with inferior, or superior, for that matter.

I think most of us accept the differences of those around the world, but the more I read and listen, the more I realize there is much about other countries and other faiths that I do not know about, and do not understand.

It's like when I first started reading science fiction ...

I don't have to understand everything about a culture to appreciate the gifts that all people bring to the human race.

Making a Difference, Assignment #99

Weekend Assignment #99: "What do others think they could do to make a difference? It doesn't have to be life-altering, as the smallest conception can bring the biggest results." In addition to things you could do, I'll also add in that if you are currently doing things you think make a difference, you can mention those, too.

Extra Credit: Name someone you know who you admire for making a difference.

OKay, I'm up for the challenge this morning.

I think others think they can make a difference through their family relationships, friends, and work. Speaking from the experience of living within and around a school culture for the past seven years, not only during the days when we are in the classroom, but throughout the year, adults (parents, teachers, staff, volunteers, community leaders) find themselves facing the task of trying to do what is right for the ones they come into contact with each and every day.

It's difficult to look at the big picture and say "I'm going to change the world by what I'm doing." or "What I do impacts the world in a great way." Most of us don't have and will never have the status of, say, Jesus, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., or Ghandi, and most of us would not be willing to give up our life to the human cause as they did.

Yet, in one's living, one could be giving up their life for such a cause. I think that one should be giving up their life for a cause. Not necessarily dying for it, but living for it.

And so, I think, it is in the "smallest conceptions" that we must look at and acknowledge the power of what little acts and words can have on the individual, and thus, on the world that individual lives in.

Being kind and compassionate are ways to make a difference. Too often we encounter others living in a manner that causes us to shudder and turn away. If we have pity, and if we judge them to be making good choices, but having a bad break, we offer them kindness and compassion, and even try to help them. Our actions in such a direction, either as an individual, or as a communtiy, makes a positive difference in the life of a parent or child experiencing poverty, illness, or tragedy in the family.

However, faced with a situation in which we make a judgment against a person or persons, we may criticize and say, "They made the wrong choices, so now they have to deal with it," or "They could do better if they did this, this, and this."  We often withhold the kindness and compassion from them. We don't offer the kind of help they need, either because they may have been offered it before and turned it down, threw it away, disregarded it as nothing more than is expected of us, or because we really don't know where to begin when their needs are so great.  Or if we do offer any kind of help, it is done begrudgingly and critically, as though we wish to do as little as possible because we perceive that" it won't make a difference, anyway."

We place a lot of importance on making a difference in the lives of others. If we think we are making a difference, we may enter into the action, event, project, relationship, mission, whatever, with gusto, enthusiasm, high motivation, and great love. If we think that what we do will not make a difference, we find excuses, drag our feet, and rationalize away our lethargic manner.

I know of others who continue to do small things to make a difference, and I work with them every day. Often it is only by their words, or their silent gestures of support and kindness, a phone call made to a parent, a private word of encouragement they give to a student in the hall, or a note sent home to a parent. Often is more than that.

When you think of the dynamics going on in the American public school classroom, the varied backgrounds the kids have, their family histories, medical histories, emotional experiences, and academic backgrounds, one wonders how does one person shuffle them all together and create a team of learners? I tell you now that many teachers today are quite good at doing just that. And if they are not quite good at it yet, they have the intent to become skillful in this area.

I cannot just mention one person I admire for making a difference without excluding others who are also. I will let it remain said that I work with many, many individuals in my school who I see making a difference in their classrooms, at meetings, in the offices, cafeteria. The grade level teachers, EC teachers, their assistants, the music, gym, computer lab, and media teachers, the specialists including the reading teachers, ESL teacher, our literacy coordinator, science teacher, guidance counselor, nurse, school psychologist, the social services representative, the custodian, and our administrators... all carry a vision for the school to make a difference in the lives of the children, and others, who pass through our classrooms every day.

Students are recognized for their acts of kindness, good citizenship, trustworthiness, responsibility, respectfulness, and honesty, among other good character traits. Teachers know that if we want our kids to exhibit these qualities, they must be modeled daily. Patience, tolerance, and compassion are also important in a classroom of diverse learners. I think this is what John Dewey meant when he said that "Education is life itself."

What it all boils down to is this: two people looking at each other. One has a problem, and the other offer words of support, advice, strategies, and possible solutions. One is a child, at any level of intelligence or ability, afraid of what might be, or what lies ahead, or anxious about her abilities, lacking confidence, uncertain of who they are or what they want out of life. The other is a teacher who doesn't have all the answers, but implements a plan to increase academic skills built on familiar knowledge, praise for success, and provides a scaffold of support for the hard to reach areas. She offers a learning environment and hope.

I'm not saying that all teachers do it well all of the time, or even that most teachers do it well all of the time. I think it is probably true that most teachers do it well most of the time. I know for a fact there are some days I don't do it well, either.

The odds, though, are that some little thing I do or say, if spoken with the intent of movinganother individual ahead, will change that person's thought for the moment, causing an action he subsequently makes, a decision, an attitude. And how that student responds to the next criticism or the next injury or the next challenge may well depend upon something he remembers being told, or something he remembers seeing, or doing. It very well may save his life. It may cause him to enter into a positive relationship of growth and success. It may allow him to step into unfamiliar territory and expand his awareness. It may provide the hope to overcome his present situation until he is old enough to take care of himself.

It is a daily renewal of our vision to make a difference in the future by teaching the kids how to learn today by providing an atmosphere of trust and respect.

No doubt, teachers are on the front line for making a difference in the world, but anyone filling in as a role model for a child can do the same.

Click on the above link, and write your response to the question, then post a link at By The Way.

I'm Reading A Great Book!

I haven't had "time" to make a significant entry this week. All energy, focus has been on school, at school, about school. In the evenings, I crash. Either I am reading a book or watching a favorite program on tv, and then I go to bed. Since the tv viewing is limited, I've mostly been reading.

Latest great read is John's book, Old Man's War. I haven't read this kind of science fiction since possibly the 80's. To understand what kind of science fiction I enjoy, here are some books I have read, enjoyed, and remember to this day: Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress; Asimov's robot stories; Hubbard's Battlefield Earth (actually, I read it long before the movie ever came out, and was disappointed in the movie); Carl Sagan's Contact; and nearly every book Orson Scott Card ever wrote. I have one entire bookshelf reserved just for his books. His writing style won me over when I read Ender's Game, and after that I read everything he ever wrote or edited.

There have been many others, so many I can't recall all the titles, and I don't even have them out on the bookshelf to look them up because most of them are paperback. I remember for several years subscribing to Science Fiction Magazine, and some years I'd buy (through book clubs or book sales) the hardback collection of short stories, such as the Hugo Award winners, the Nebula Award winners, and other science fiction short stories. Scott Card has a great volume of short stories, Maps in a Mirror, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Ten years ago, I had wandered through the fantasy genre, and discovered other authors, Sara Douglass, and Lois McMaster BuJold. This was a complete leap from what I loved to read 30 years ago, but it's good to try something new once in awhile.

There was one book I read that is out and apart from the rest: Patrick O'Brian's Master and Commander. I read it before the movie was released, and because I wanted to see the movie. So glad I attempted the read. I say attempted because clearly I had not naval nor maritime prior knowledge to help me understand the ship's culture. The drawing of the fully masted ship at the front of the book was certainly a great reference page as I flipped back to it several times until I got the feel for the ship's major parts and functions.

What I most enjoyed about O'Brian's book was his use of the language. I read and reread several pages just to savor the sound of the multisyllable words, and laughed in wonder and glee at his paragraph-long sentences. Not that I want to write like that, but to read a sentence so skillfully put together was entertainment in itself. Thankfully, he mixed those lengthier sentences in at just the right moments, and the reading did not suffer. 

So when I heard about John's book, I was ready for something new again. And now it's hard to put the book down to make this entry. I can't help but compare his writing to what I've already read, which is why I briefly mentioned my reading history, so one would know where I was coming from. I have no doubt that I'm enjoying his story writing for the same reason I enjoyed Heinlein/Asimov/O'Brian/Card.

For me, the most important ingredient in a story is the character development, the transformation of the character from beginning to end, followed closely by the dialogue that carries or reveals the character. Probably is for most readers. There doesn't even have to be a lot of dialogue for me to enjoy, but some of it has to be witty, wise, intriguing, revealing, suggestive, or leave me wondering "what did he mean by that?" (I may ask of the character or the author).

As I read Old Man's War, though, I am constantly drawn to make comparisons between thepolitical and religious drama taking place in our own world, and the attitude our country proudly carries for its military, its fight for religious freedom, protection of human rights, and the constant tug of war we (citizens) feel regarding what we read in the news versus what is/could be really happening in the world. On the one hand, the book is entertaining science fiction, and on the other hand, this story has moral depth.

Certainly setting is varied, colorful, and unusual  in this story, and since it has been years since I hopped around in my imagination from planet to planet, or world to world, I gladly abandoned myself and joined in the journey. I haven't finished, on the final two chapters, however, I've already placed my order for Ghost Brigades.

Have you read Old Man's War?

From the Universe to the Subatomic World

This will be short and sweet.

You have got to check out this website if you have never before seen it!

Here's the description of what you will see at this Molecular Expressions website:

Secret Worlds: The Universe Within

View the Milky Way at 10 million light years from the Earth. Then move through space towards the Earth in successive orders of magnitude until you reach a tall oak tree just outside the buildings of the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida. After that, begin to move from the actual size of a leaf into a microscopic world that reveals leaf cell walls, the cell nucleus, chromatin, DNA and finally, into the subatomic universe of electrons and protons.

Just click on the link above.

Here is the actual website address:

http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/index.html

Gives visual meaning to exponential notation.

Hit Counter Restored!!

Okay, so I had momentarily considered not having a hit counter, especially in light of the fact so many others have experienced this problem.

Many of you sent me emails regarding this issue, and others left comments. Thank you all.

I had emailed our MagicSmoke Journal Editor Joe, and he sent me the entry link which would help me restore my counter. I thought I'd give it a try before giving up completely.

The result is, my hit counter is back, and I've reset it to where it should be if I added the last 74 hits to the total I saw just before it disappeared.

Do you know that your hit counter keeps counting, even if you don't see it? I didn't know that!

Which means, if you remember what your counter number was at, say two months ago it was 6050, and you got frustrated like me and decided not to try to restore it. You can go back and see what the hits have been like since they disappeared. For example, you may have 1038 more hits since it went out. The odometer will show you that count when you go to change your hit counter. All you have to do is add that new number to your former number, and you have a new total.

Anyway, this information just in case you miss the hit counter and want to try getting it back.

I followed the directions from Joe's link, very slowly I might add, but it worked. If I can do it, anyone can do it. Here is Joe's link to get your counter back:

http://journals.aol.com/journalseditor/magicsmoke/entries/622

Also, I'm going to add a link to that entry in my favorite sites, if there is room to add one more, so that I can find it quickly next time.

Good luck if you decide to try restoring and resetting your hit counter.

Hit Counter Removal

Well, I got tired of looking at my incorrect hit counter. It leaves a false impression, saying I have had 64 hits since the creation of this journal in Aug of 2005. Bah! More like 2000.

Call it vanity, but I delighted in the hit counter showing me, over time, that I had so many visitors. Oh, I know some of those hits were my entries, but not 2000 of them!

This week, my counter would have clicked the number 2000 +, but some technical thing going on within these journal populations caused it to disappear. Then it started back at 00001. I know that Joe wrote an entry about how to get the numbers back, but now I can't find that entry, and I don't want to spend the next hour or two reading all the entries looking for it.

So if you know which entry it is because you have had to do the same thing for your journal, please drop me a line. Either leave a comment or send an email! It would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!.

Until then, I removed the hit counter.

Dangers of Multi-tasking

I tried to make an entry tonight, had copied pictures, and credits for the pictures to represent what I was doing, and typing in my text to tell how I was multi-tasking. As I moved about from window to window, closing one out and opening another, I did something that was the equivalent of knocking the plug out of the socket while you're on the 20th page of your story, and you haven't saved any of it...

I closed out the window that had my Add An Entry window. I looked everywhere for it, to see if I could somehow "go back" to it.

But it would not be found. It was gone... I had not saved it because I didn't want to save it until it was completed. So much for multi-tasking.

This was certainly one of those entries I should have first typed onto the word processor. Had I done that, I could have saved it after every paragraph, then when it was done, copied it into my journal... alas, I did not do the smart thing.

Ah, me. I learned a valuable lesson here. Took me over an hour to get that entry together. You would have been proud of the pictures I had found. It will take too long to do it all over again, so here's the short, unillustrated version.

Tonight I've groomed my dogs, watched the Olympics downhill skiing, women's moguls, figure skating, and intermittently parts of the movie Dangerous Beauty. And made a journal entry.

What I had wanted to tell you then, and what I will tell you now, is that in the movie I saw someone I did not expect to see. He had a small but significant part, and I was so sure it was him that I did a web search on his name, and sure enough, he had made that movie. Jake Weber. Know him? I really like him. He plays the handsome and loving, if not always understanding, but generally supportive, husband of Allison Dubois, on Medium.

In the movie, he portrayed King Henry in a very intimate relationship with this respectable courtesan, Veronica, played by Catherine McCormack (from Braveheart). Next time the movie comes on, I'll watch it all the way through. 16th century costumes, setting in Venice, very Shakespearean look to it all. My kind of movie.

 

WARNING: BLOGGING IS HAZARDOUS!

There should be a warning explicitly given to anyone who submits their screen name to acquire a blog/journal here at aol journals. Similar to the warnings given on packages of cigarettes: "smoking can be hazardous to your health." For would-be bloggers, it could go something like this "The Journal Editors and longtime users of aol journals have found that blogging can be hazardous to your health. Join at your own risk."

You see, journaling on the web like this is very addictive. It's hard to stop once you get started.

Of course, had I read or heard such a warning, I would have laughed it off, and disregarded it. Not to my health. I can control such things. I can quit any time I want to.

Here's the truth of the matter: it starts out simply enough. You sign on with a journal identity, and create your journal page.  You make it private because you have never opened your paper journals to anyone, so why start with a public web log? It remains private for a long time. It feels very comfortable and familiar.

Eventually, you learn to add other favorite links to the sidebar because you have so many favorites, and if they're there on the sidebar, you can get to them even as you journal, with just a single click. You love doing this. Writing, researching, linking. Keeps you busy, but it feels good, productive. Clever, even.

For a very long time. You peek in on the Journals Main Page once in awhile to see what's going on because you don't know anyone in the journal neighborhood yet.

You wonder about the mysterious listing  "Other Journals" because 1) you don't have any other journals and 2) you don't know anyone else who journals. So that list sits empty.

You continue to make entry after entry, and soon learn how to add pictures to your entries. Every once in awhile you check out Magic Smoke journal for Journal Editor Joe's technical advice, and By The Way journal because he's the Weekend Assignment guy, and you find his assignments interesting.

As the Editor's Picks are revealed each week, you visit them, and their favorite journals. In this way you come to find some pretty interesting people. And while you are cruising about from journal to journal, you realize you can get email alerts so that when your favorite journaler enters a post, you can be alerted of it right away. This allows you to read their post, then leave a comment to let them know you were there.

In the beginning, this is great fun. Especially during long holidays, like Christmas. Your email box begins to fill up by the end of the day, particularly school days when you are not home to open them and read them until you get home. And when you open them, you go to their journals, and the next thing you know, it is 11:00 pm. and all you've done since you got home is read emails, read journals, and leave comments. And write in your own journal.

Now you know what the list "Other Journals" is for: so you add links to all your favorite journals. You let their owners know you have added them.

And now you think it's time to go public with your own journal, so you do. Anyone can read it when you go public, and they leave comments. Very nice comments. Many months pass with this new habit, and you have accummulated a nice collection of favorite journals, all of which you want to read and comment in, and strangely, they do the same for you. That's really nice, to hear from these people.

They become like your neighbors, your friends. They email you and ask about something you wrote about. Or they tell you something more that wasn't revealed in their journal. And you become closer.

You meet artists, musicians, nurses, writers, poets, retired people, teachers, law officers, chefs, mothers, gardeners, foster parents and people on mission doing God's work, people who are in long-term caregiving relationships with a disabled spouse, and people with physical disabilities, people who are very sick, or dealing with great pain. I'd say the majority of them are people of Faith.

Inclusively, they are all people with a great sense of humor, a hopeful attitude about life, a sense of understanding of their place in the world, and a spirit of determination to keep going even when they are experiencing a lowest of low in their life.

It is so easy to get addicted to this because they are as close to you as the keyboard, monitor, and internet connection services can bring you. You don't have to leave your house to meet them, to interact with them, to visit them, or to let them into your own home for a visit. Over time, you do get to know them. During their mirthful highs and their depressive lows, and even during your own highs and lows, these neighbors know when to visit and what to say. They seldom experience a loss of words.

So the downside is ...? The only downside is the time it takes to visit all the journals you have added to your alerts. When you get home from school, there are 43 emails, and 30 of them are AOL Journals New Entry Alerts and AOL Journals Comment Added Alerts. You love reading the comments to your entries. You feel validated. Approved of. You love reading the new journal entries. But you can't stay up til midnight every night, and you have work to do, and you need to keep a focus on it.

This is the negative side of the addiction. You have people in your home (husband and dogs, kids, etc), friends and neighbors who are wondering what has become of you? Where is XXX? She is on the internet and won't be back until she gets back.

So, here is the warning to anyone thinking about blogging:

WARNING: BLOGGING CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. BLOG AT YOUR OWN RISK. IT IS ADDICTIVE. IT IS UP TO YOU TO RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU SHOULD PUSH AWAY FROM THE DESK/ MONITOR AND KEYBOARD. BUT IF YOU CANNOT DO THIS ON YOUR OWN, JUST ASK YOUR HUSBAND, WIFE, OR FRIEND TO UNPLUG YOUR UNIT, OR LOCK THE DOOR FOR A FEW DAYS, OR GO FAR AWAY INTO THE MOUNTAINS FOR A VACATION.

In the end, it's all about balance. Moderation. Those are real people out there, with real feelings, and real lives. Once you become a part of that, you can't just walk away from them. I guess some folks could, but I can't.I love my journal land friends.

So if you've wondered where I've been, I've been trying to figure out a way to balance it all. A way to keep it and a way to keep it under control. I tried deleting my alerts for a week, but the fact is, I miss them. I miss not hearing your latest news.

I will visit when you post, but if I don't leave a comment every time, please forgive. I will be back again and again. And if I've been gone too long, do what Jackie did: she emailed me and asked me how I was because she missed me. And Natalie, and Cyndi G... you girls rock.

I'm watching the Olympics XX

I'm watching the opening ceremony for the XX Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy... I hope you are watching it too. My favorite part, so far, beside that adorable little 4th grader singing the Italian National Anthem, was the image of the skiier, made up of I don't know how many participants (more than a hundred?).

Each wore a specific color related to an area of the skiier's body they were creating en masse, and a head light. At first, I wondered, what are they doing? They're making something, and then I recognized the shape of a person standing on skis... while the music played, the image shifted, and if you didn't focus on one point for too long, if you let your eyes sort of stare at it, you could see the skiier's body bend into a ski launch position, and then into a sailing through the air posture, and then into a landing with bent knees. It was quite amazing when you think about the coordination and timing that was needed to make the skiier come to life! Very nice. I've never seen anything like that... short of "the wave" rolling through a coliseum crowd.

Well, I have to go to watch the rest of it!!

Are you watching it?

This is Faith!

When we come to the edge

of the light we know,

and are about to step off

into the darkness of the unknown,

of this we can be sure ...

either God will provide something solid

to stand on or .....

we will be taught how to fly.

Romance Novel Just Released!

Thank you to John for the idea! His entry made me want to check out the Romance Novel thing... I was curious, so I sent in a picture, submitted some information for the cover to be made, within seconds a book cover came out featuring the steamy portraits of my husband and I. I love North Carolina, which is why the title. I even made up the author's name, thank you! Some of the names they suggested at the site were a little too risque for me.

I think you should make one for yourself!!

BTW, the site does have a page that will ask you to order refrigerator magnets with your cover image, but I didn't order any. It was kind of fun making the cover! Let's see yours!

Clouds in Reflection

John's Monday Photo Shoot begged for my attention. I love to photograph clouds. I have a boxful of cloud pictures taken in my pre-digital camera days, back when I had a 35mm, single-lense reflex, Ricoh camera. Loved that camera. It was heavy, but it took great pictures. I loved to sketch clouds when I was younger, the dramatic night time mountainous ones that build up over the Carolina coast, while my husband and son fished off the pier, pondering life's puzzles.

The only cloud pictures I have on my computer are the ones I took last May and June of 2005 while photographing our koi... I had noticed how clear the water was that day, and how the wispy clouds made for a fun challenge that reminded me of graphic artist MC Escher's print, The Three Worlds.

That was before I was aware of aol journals, before my ant habitat began, before I even knew there was such a thing as space age blue gel ant habitats, before I went to Pisgah Forest Institute to learn about microinvertebrates, light pollution, and The Lorax.

I didn't have a clue then that one day I'd be posting my digital pictures of our koi pond on the internet, in a public journal, for the blogging world to see.

Blogging has transformed me!

Finally, Relief!

I don't know how I got through the day, but somehow I did. The head-ache held me hostage, worsening throughout the day. I took two liquid cap Advils before I went to school, and two time-released Tylenol just before lunch. By my 1:15 class, the most rambunctious class of the day as they are restless from having just eaten lunch, I finally confessed to the headache, and they were sympathetic, somewhat.

As the minutes ticked by, my eyes felt heavier and heavier. The classroom light was too bright for my sensitive pupils. Confounding it all was that the room temperature was way too hot, reaching up to 88 degrees at one point. I had to keep my classroom door open to make it more comfortable for anyone who didn't thrive in sub-Saharan conditions.

Well, after school there was a Leadership Team meeting, which I attended, and faithfully took minutes on the laptop. The meeting lasted about an hour or so. As I walked down the hall to my room, I had to close my eyes from time to time to relieve the pain from the light. I drove home, let the dogs out, let them back in, found the soft throw blanket that I love to snuggle in at night, and curled up on the bed. Took a nap at 4:30.

I slept until the phone rang at about 5:30... got up and felt, well, I felt pretty decent. I turned my head this way and that, and wow! what a difference. The headache wasn't completely gone, but enough of it was gone to make me feel joyous.

So I cooked dinner (spaghetti and meatballs), relishing the fact that I no longer was in pain.

I thought about how euphoric I feel when the pain finally goes away. Maybe the headaches are an occasional reminder of how good I feel when I don't have them, and not to take those days when I don't have a headache for granted.

Well, I have to go now. Sitting at the computer too long could bring it back. Thank you for your caring comments. I promise to come visit your journals this week. I haven't been around as much as I had in previous weeks.

Headaches

Been so busy this week. Haven't had much I could journal about.

Headache came on beginning last night, and continues today. Tried to take a nap this afternoon to sleep it off. No improvement, though. They come and go, and when they come, I take OC meds. Sometimes they help, sometimes not.

They're migraines. I had sought medical help for them years ago. I have tried prescription drugs, but side effects are not pleasant either. So I bear with the headache. I just tell my students not to talk too loud, to be nice to me because I have a headache. They can usually tell by looking at my eyes, and they try to be good when I explain that I have a head ache.

Before I started working as a teacher, whenever I had a migraine, I would spend the majority of the day in bed, in the dark, taking Rx. The Rx helped, but like I said, there were side effects that worried me more than the headache did. So, with my doctor's advice to support me, I turned to the OC meds, and use them only as needed: Tylenol, Advil, Excedrin. Not all at once, but one week I may try one, and the next month, the other. If I still have the headache after two days, I may switch to one of the others. And I just mostly bear with it. Until it goes away.

So, when they come, I still have to get the important stuff done, like school work. I've gotten the bulk of my planning for next week done this afternoon and this evening despite the ongoing point of pain behind my right eye.

Which means I'm going to do as little reading and writing as I can get away with for the rest of the night, until the head ache goes away. That could be by morning, or it could be two or three days away. I never know for how long they will last.

Others bear far worst pains and aches than I. I can walk up and down the stairs, and I can drive my car. I have my eyesight, and I can speak. I can eat most anything I want without serious disturbances, and I can walk at various rates of speed, including a brief stint of jogging if I have to. I have hair, although it is gray, and all my body parts still function normally... if a headache is all I have to deal with from time to time, I am not going to complain any more than today's entry!

Even today is a blessed day, headache and all.