WARNING: BLOGGING IS HAZARDOUS!

There should be a warning explicitly given to anyone who submits their screen name to acquire a blog/journal here at aol journals. Similar to the warnings given on packages of cigarettes: "smoking can be hazardous to your health." For would-be bloggers, it could go something like this "The Journal Editors and longtime users of aol journals have found that blogging can be hazardous to your health. Join at your own risk."

You see, journaling on the web like this is very addictive. It's hard to stop once you get started.

Of course, had I read or heard such a warning, I would have laughed it off, and disregarded it. Not to my health. I can control such things. I can quit any time I want to.

Here's the truth of the matter: it starts out simply enough. You sign on with a journal identity, and create your journal page.  You make it private because you have never opened your paper journals to anyone, so why start with a public web log? It remains private for a long time. It feels very comfortable and familiar.

Eventually, you learn to add other favorite links to the sidebar because you have so many favorites, and if they're there on the sidebar, you can get to them even as you journal, with just a single click. You love doing this. Writing, researching, linking. Keeps you busy, but it feels good, productive. Clever, even.

For a very long time. You peek in on the Journals Main Page once in awhile to see what's going on because you don't know anyone in the journal neighborhood yet.

You wonder about the mysterious listing  "Other Journals" because 1) you don't have any other journals and 2) you don't know anyone else who journals. So that list sits empty.

You continue to make entry after entry, and soon learn how to add pictures to your entries. Every once in awhile you check out Magic Smoke journal for Journal Editor Joe's technical advice, and By The Way journal because he's the Weekend Assignment guy, and you find his assignments interesting.

As the Editor's Picks are revealed each week, you visit them, and their favorite journals. In this way you come to find some pretty interesting people. And while you are cruising about from journal to journal, you realize you can get email alerts so that when your favorite journaler enters a post, you can be alerted of it right away. This allows you to read their post, then leave a comment to let them know you were there.

In the beginning, this is great fun. Especially during long holidays, like Christmas. Your email box begins to fill up by the end of the day, particularly school days when you are not home to open them and read them until you get home. And when you open them, you go to their journals, and the next thing you know, it is 11:00 pm. and all you've done since you got home is read emails, read journals, and leave comments. And write in your own journal.

Now you know what the list "Other Journals" is for: so you add links to all your favorite journals. You let their owners know you have added them.

And now you think it's time to go public with your own journal, so you do. Anyone can read it when you go public, and they leave comments. Very nice comments. Many months pass with this new habit, and you have accummulated a nice collection of favorite journals, all of which you want to read and comment in, and strangely, they do the same for you. That's really nice, to hear from these people.

They become like your neighbors, your friends. They email you and ask about something you wrote about. Or they tell you something more that wasn't revealed in their journal. And you become closer.

You meet artists, musicians, nurses, writers, poets, retired people, teachers, law officers, chefs, mothers, gardeners, foster parents and people on mission doing God's work, people who are in long-term caregiving relationships with a disabled spouse, and people with physical disabilities, people who are very sick, or dealing with great pain. I'd say the majority of them are people of Faith.

Inclusively, they are all people with a great sense of humor, a hopeful attitude about life, a sense of understanding of their place in the world, and a spirit of determination to keep going even when they are experiencing a lowest of low in their life.

It is so easy to get addicted to this because they are as close to you as the keyboard, monitor, and internet connection services can bring you. You don't have to leave your house to meet them, to interact with them, to visit them, or to let them into your own home for a visit. Over time, you do get to know them. During their mirthful highs and their depressive lows, and even during your own highs and lows, these neighbors know when to visit and what to say. They seldom experience a loss of words.

So the downside is ...? The only downside is the time it takes to visit all the journals you have added to your alerts. When you get home from school, there are 43 emails, and 30 of them are AOL Journals New Entry Alerts and AOL Journals Comment Added Alerts. You love reading the comments to your entries. You feel validated. Approved of. You love reading the new journal entries. But you can't stay up til midnight every night, and you have work to do, and you need to keep a focus on it.

This is the negative side of the addiction. You have people in your home (husband and dogs, kids, etc), friends and neighbors who are wondering what has become of you? Where is XXX? She is on the internet and won't be back until she gets back.

So, here is the warning to anyone thinking about blogging:

WARNING: BLOGGING CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. BLOG AT YOUR OWN RISK. IT IS ADDICTIVE. IT IS UP TO YOU TO RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU SHOULD PUSH AWAY FROM THE DESK/ MONITOR AND KEYBOARD. BUT IF YOU CANNOT DO THIS ON YOUR OWN, JUST ASK YOUR HUSBAND, WIFE, OR FRIEND TO UNPLUG YOUR UNIT, OR LOCK THE DOOR FOR A FEW DAYS, OR GO FAR AWAY INTO THE MOUNTAINS FOR A VACATION.

In the end, it's all about balance. Moderation. Those are real people out there, with real feelings, and real lives. Once you become a part of that, you can't just walk away from them. I guess some folks could, but I can't.I love my journal land friends.

So if you've wondered where I've been, I've been trying to figure out a way to balance it all. A way to keep it and a way to keep it under control. I tried deleting my alerts for a week, but the fact is, I miss them. I miss not hearing your latest news.

I will visit when you post, but if I don't leave a comment every time, please forgive. I will be back again and again. And if I've been gone too long, do what Jackie did: she emailed me and asked me how I was because she missed me. And Natalie, and Cyndi G... you girls rock.

I'm watching the Olympics XX

I'm watching the opening ceremony for the XX Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy... I hope you are watching it too. My favorite part, so far, beside that adorable little 4th grader singing the Italian National Anthem, was the image of the skiier, made up of I don't know how many participants (more than a hundred?).

Each wore a specific color related to an area of the skiier's body they were creating en masse, and a head light. At first, I wondered, what are they doing? They're making something, and then I recognized the shape of a person standing on skis... while the music played, the image shifted, and if you didn't focus on one point for too long, if you let your eyes sort of stare at it, you could see the skiier's body bend into a ski launch position, and then into a sailing through the air posture, and then into a landing with bent knees. It was quite amazing when you think about the coordination and timing that was needed to make the skiier come to life! Very nice. I've never seen anything like that... short of "the wave" rolling through a coliseum crowd.

Well, I have to go to watch the rest of it!!

Are you watching it?

This is Faith!

When we come to the edge

of the light we know,

and are about to step off

into the darkness of the unknown,

of this we can be sure ...

either God will provide something solid

to stand on or .....

we will be taught how to fly.

Romance Novel Just Released!

Thank you to John for the idea! His entry made me want to check out the Romance Novel thing... I was curious, so I sent in a picture, submitted some information for the cover to be made, within seconds a book cover came out featuring the steamy portraits of my husband and I. I love North Carolina, which is why the title. I even made up the author's name, thank you! Some of the names they suggested at the site were a little too risque for me.

I think you should make one for yourself!!

BTW, the site does have a page that will ask you to order refrigerator magnets with your cover image, but I didn't order any. It was kind of fun making the cover! Let's see yours!

Clouds in Reflection

John's Monday Photo Shoot begged for my attention. I love to photograph clouds. I have a boxful of cloud pictures taken in my pre-digital camera days, back when I had a 35mm, single-lense reflex, Ricoh camera. Loved that camera. It was heavy, but it took great pictures. I loved to sketch clouds when I was younger, the dramatic night time mountainous ones that build up over the Carolina coast, while my husband and son fished off the pier, pondering life's puzzles.

The only cloud pictures I have on my computer are the ones I took last May and June of 2005 while photographing our koi... I had noticed how clear the water was that day, and how the wispy clouds made for a fun challenge that reminded me of graphic artist MC Escher's print, The Three Worlds.

That was before I was aware of aol journals, before my ant habitat began, before I even knew there was such a thing as space age blue gel ant habitats, before I went to Pisgah Forest Institute to learn about microinvertebrates, light pollution, and The Lorax.

I didn't have a clue then that one day I'd be posting my digital pictures of our koi pond on the internet, in a public journal, for the blogging world to see.

Blogging has transformed me!

Finally, Relief!

I don't know how I got through the day, but somehow I did. The head-ache held me hostage, worsening throughout the day. I took two liquid cap Advils before I went to school, and two time-released Tylenol just before lunch. By my 1:15 class, the most rambunctious class of the day as they are restless from having just eaten lunch, I finally confessed to the headache, and they were sympathetic, somewhat.

As the minutes ticked by, my eyes felt heavier and heavier. The classroom light was too bright for my sensitive pupils. Confounding it all was that the room temperature was way too hot, reaching up to 88 degrees at one point. I had to keep my classroom door open to make it more comfortable for anyone who didn't thrive in sub-Saharan conditions.

Well, after school there was a Leadership Team meeting, which I attended, and faithfully took minutes on the laptop. The meeting lasted about an hour or so. As I walked down the hall to my room, I had to close my eyes from time to time to relieve the pain from the light. I drove home, let the dogs out, let them back in, found the soft throw blanket that I love to snuggle in at night, and curled up on the bed. Took a nap at 4:30.

I slept until the phone rang at about 5:30... got up and felt, well, I felt pretty decent. I turned my head this way and that, and wow! what a difference. The headache wasn't completely gone, but enough of it was gone to make me feel joyous.

So I cooked dinner (spaghetti and meatballs), relishing the fact that I no longer was in pain.

I thought about how euphoric I feel when the pain finally goes away. Maybe the headaches are an occasional reminder of how good I feel when I don't have them, and not to take those days when I don't have a headache for granted.

Well, I have to go now. Sitting at the computer too long could bring it back. Thank you for your caring comments. I promise to come visit your journals this week. I haven't been around as much as I had in previous weeks.

Headaches

Been so busy this week. Haven't had much I could journal about.

Headache came on beginning last night, and continues today. Tried to take a nap this afternoon to sleep it off. No improvement, though. They come and go, and when they come, I take OC meds. Sometimes they help, sometimes not.

They're migraines. I had sought medical help for them years ago. I have tried prescription drugs, but side effects are not pleasant either. So I bear with the headache. I just tell my students not to talk too loud, to be nice to me because I have a headache. They can usually tell by looking at my eyes, and they try to be good when I explain that I have a head ache.

Before I started working as a teacher, whenever I had a migraine, I would spend the majority of the day in bed, in the dark, taking Rx. The Rx helped, but like I said, there were side effects that worried me more than the headache did. So, with my doctor's advice to support me, I turned to the OC meds, and use them only as needed: Tylenol, Advil, Excedrin. Not all at once, but one week I may try one, and the next month, the other. If I still have the headache after two days, I may switch to one of the others. And I just mostly bear with it. Until it goes away.

So, when they come, I still have to get the important stuff done, like school work. I've gotten the bulk of my planning for next week done this afternoon and this evening despite the ongoing point of pain behind my right eye.

Which means I'm going to do as little reading and writing as I can get away with for the rest of the night, until the head ache goes away. That could be by morning, or it could be two or three days away. I never know for how long they will last.

Others bear far worst pains and aches than I. I can walk up and down the stairs, and I can drive my car. I have my eyesight, and I can speak. I can eat most anything I want without serious disturbances, and I can walk at various rates of speed, including a brief stint of jogging if I have to. I have hair, although it is gray, and all my body parts still function normally... if a headache is all I have to deal with from time to time, I am not going to complain any more than today's entry!

Even today is a blessed day, headache and all.