Under the Oaks at Elon

The commencement yesterday at Elon was not the usual of commencements. My student teacher was graduating. (I wrote about her in a previous entry.)

It was my first at Elon University, which is ironic because my own graduation should have been my first. Had I been there. Yet there is something anticlimactic about walking in a graduation ceremony four months after one has left the school and started working. But that is what happens when you complete your college courses/final exams in July, missing the June graduation. You have to attend the December graduation services.

Same thing happened to me in Athens, Georgia in 1975. I had finished classes in August, we moved to NC, a newly married couple, I got a job. By the time December rolled around, I did not want to drive to GA for a graduation ceremony that no one in my family would have been able to attend since they either lived in North Carolina, Connecticut or California. What is the point when your loved ones won't be there? So I didn't attend my 1975 graduation. The degree came to me in a brown envelope by mail carrier.

Then came the Special Education degree over twenty years later. I was so thrilled to be in school again, and felt very fortunate that such a highly accredited college as Elon was just twenty miles from my home. I enrolled in 1996, and completed the final exams in July of 1999. I also started teaching in August of that same year. By the time December had rolled around, I, fully immersed and overwhelmed by first year teaching demands, didn't even care to walk in a graduation ceremony. What difference would it make if I went or not? I doubted anyone in my family would have attended, possibly son and husband. I opted to forego the formalities.

Ever since then, when I attend a commencement service, I have mixed feelings. Part of me says "Bea, you should have attended your college graduation... it was your special moment to feel proud and accept the praise that your family and friends would have been happy to bestow upon you. You denied them that opportunity."

The other part of me says, "I'm glad I didn't go through all this pomp and circumstance... look how long these services are!! No wonder I opted to stay home. I wouldn't want to put anyone through this sitting and waiting."

But sitting there under the Oaks on the Elon Campus, surrounded by proud and happy members of my student teacher's family, I felt proud myself. She and I had worked together for ten weeks. It probably felt like boot camp to her, but she made it through with flying colors.

I met her parents (our second meeting), her grandparents, her boyfriend and his dad, cousins, aunts, and uncles. What nice people all of them were. I didn't see her actually walk across the stage, though. Moments before her name was called out, I leaned forward and asked her sister what the plan was, you know, do we shout out some encouraging word, or her name? Are we going to say something, let her know we are here?

Her sister said we could do sign language... I sensed a bit of hesitation. Remembering my girlfriends, and our joy when Alyson's son graduated from the School of Math and Science last year, I suggested we make a little noise. "Let's shout out something." Her young cousin said "How about 'Go J...?" So we plotted that for the one to three seconds we had, from the time her name was called to the time she received her degree, we could quickly stand up and shout 'Go J....!!" We didn't want to take up another student's time to be recognized. That would have been too rude and disrespectful.

Suddenly, her name was called, we jumped up, shouted our encouragement, and sat down. The people standing in front of me were way taller than I, so in standing, I didn't see her walk across the stage.

Afterward, we met at the reception area, also on the campus lawn, and I gave her the card on which I'd written my congratulations, and hugged her. She looked tired, anxious, ready to go home. It was time for me to leave, 12:45, and I'd been there since almost 9a.m.Graduation services take a long time, especially when there are a thousand graduates, as Elon honored individually yesterday morning.

Oh, and each and every graduate received a gift from the school: a young oak tree to plant when they get home.  A lovely and appropriate symbolic gift that would no doubt last a lifetime in the hearts and minds of these young people.

You won't believe this, but I had left my camera in my car... I don't have any pictures. Bah!

I did meet three of my former professors there, however, the ones who taught me ten years ago, the same ones who taught my student teacher. It felt good to say hello to them and chat for awhile.

I told them I'd be waiting for another student teacher next year.

 

Tags: Elon, Under the Oaks, graduation, commencement,