Remembering Max

I am touched by all the comments and words of comfort and support given by my friends, and friends of friends in the J-land community. I can tell that everyone has a pet, or has had one. Your words have touched my heart and made the passing of this moment a little easier to bare. Thank you all for stopping by and leaving a note of kindness and understanding, and for the emails and ecards. You are all so wonderful.

                                          

                                             Max, Misty, and Daisy

There are people out here who have lost someone very close to them, or are about to lose someone. Eventually, we all will lose someone, there's just no way around it. Losing one's pet cannot compare to losing one's spouse or one's child, or one's parent... but I tell you, I have cried as much over my pets as I have over lost family members. Love given and received feels the same whether it involves a pet or a person.

                                            

I know I will get through this. I've been there before, several times. Thank you for being so understanding, and for sharing your own stories of love for a pet.                  

I already miss the sound of his barking when we come home... Though Misty greets us, she does it quietly with a wagging tale. I miss the scratching of his paws on the door when he wants to go out or in. Misty just barks once she wants to go out or come in. I miss the sound of his food bowl banging against the floor as he signals that he is ready to eat... and the sound of his collar tags jingling as he trots down the hall to my bedroom to come wake me up. I miss him leaping up into my lap when I sit down to watch a movie, and how he runs after Misty after she has had a bath.

                            

He loved riding in the car. His favorite ride was to drive past the cow fields on Preacher Holmes Road ... he'd bark at the cows as we drove by.

We buried him this morning in our yard, near the place where we had buried another pet about 12 years ago. Max had never met Dusty, but I think they would have gotten along well enough. Dusty was a mix of German Shepherd and some other breed... she had a tawny color, and a deep bark. We knew Dusty was getting older, so we bought Misty. After Dusty died, we had Misty alone for two years.

                            

The year before I started teaching, we were thinking how lonely Misty would be when I went to work, so we went looking for a companion dog for her, and found Max. Same breed, Mini Schnauzer, different color, different parents. He was just a tiny little puppy then, boundless joy and gentleness. They were opposites, and got along well.

                                                           

I like where my husband chose to dig the grave... it's a beautiful peaceful little corner of the yard, beside a young tree. Our son came to help us with the work we had to do: to let our puppy go... To learn to live without him. I never thought it could be so hard to do this. 

                                   

Oh Max...you could never have known how much we'd miss you. I knew it would be hard, but I'd forgotten how much it would hurt. You weren't with us long enough, Mr. Max... you made me laugh, and when you were sick, I felt sad. When you played outside, I enjoyed watching you. I loved having you in my lap, I always loved that, Maxxer.

Forgive me for not knowing how sick you were this last time... for not staying with you long enough at the vet's, for not realizing that you really were going to leave us this time. I miss those adorable eyes, Max. I will treasure your life with us.  

                                                            

Bye bye, my little pumpkin head. Forever rest in peace, my friend.

Tags: losing one's pet, Max, grief