Blog entry forthcoming

There is something I need to write about, but cannot at this time. I don't have time to make an entry at this moment.

Yesterday there was a 4th of July picnic at our church for anyone wanting to celebrate 4th of July with their church family. Most folks go away for a few days at this time, to the beach, the mountains, or to visit their families. I wish I could put pictures of the event, but cannot. I'll be back later today with a blog update.

I heard some news yesterday that caused a sudden sadness, but couldn't blog about it at the time.

I will soon.

A Morning Walk in the Yard, and Darfur

Sometimes things happen to you and around you when you seemingly do nothing to make them happen. When we can step away, we can retrace our steps to discover why we are where we are, and what we did to get there. There's a cause for every effect, and an effect for every cause.

In a global sense, certainly there are things that occur, and the distance that separates us from these events gives the false impression that it doesn't concern us. But our hearts tell us it does concern us. There is much discord, suffering, and inhumane things happening in the world, in Africa, in Darfur today. Pray that the suffering is brought to an end. If you want to help, here's a link and another.

'At least 400,000 people have died in Darfur since 2003. Every 8 minutes another Darfuri is killed. Over 2.5 million have been displaced and are trapped in refugee camps. Peace remains a distant goal. While foreign media and politicians move on to other issues, those concerned hold their breath, believing themselves powerless'. AOL News.

There seems to be no end to the inhumanity the people of our world are willing to participate in, put up with, and pretend it isn't happening.

In a more local sense, more local than one's own country, one's state, one's county of residence... even in one's own backyard, things take place seemingly beyond our awareness. We forget our input that begins the process when we first planted a seed, or transplanted a bulb. We forget the life that already existed before we even set foot on the piece of land we come to call the homeplace.

In our backyard, flowers bloom without any attendance from our hands. Trees stand taller by the year, shading our yard to our gratitude, and grass grows where it can. Moss carpets what the grass cannot tolerate. Hostas, Ajuga, Solomon's Seal, Daylilies, Creeping Myrtle, Goldenrod, Irises, Lotus, Water Pickerel, and others with names forgotten... all come forth each spring, without our assistance. It surprises us, and I don't know why because we planted themat one time or another. Still, their return pleasantly surprises and delights the senses.

Misty, Max, and I took an early morning walk through the yard, my camera in hand. For a few minutes, all was calm, all was bright. Darfur seemed so far away.

She's Okay.

Warning: Graphic Photos!

Apparently, the surgery went well.

She doesn't appear to be in any pain at this time. I have some pain med and antibiotic to give her for the next few days, and I'll know next week what the lumps were when the pathology report comes back.

She won't be running off without me attached to her leash for a few days. And since her teeth were cleaned (they looked great, said the vet), she'll need soft food for this evening's meal.

I'm glad she's back... so is Max.

Thank you for your concern and well wishes.

 

Evidence of change

When you learn a new thing, it often takes a lot of time and effort in the initial stages to get the process under control. In other words, to reach a stage of automaticity. Learning how to get those bigger pictures into my journal is taking more time than I thought it would. I'm getting the help I need from our journals editor, but it just takes time. At this point, I have to read through the steps, repeat them, wait, test them... but it will lead to speed and expertness. That's what I'm counting on.

Which means I haven't got the pictures ready to put here this morning the way I had intended to. I did learn how to upload them from my computer to the Hometown File Manager, but while playing with them in my test journal, I found out that the pictures appeared much too large on the journal page. My next step in this learning process is to find out how to reduce these photos so they are less than 4 inches wide.

I'm going to use the AOL picture viewer again. Which is good this time because you can View Larger, and select Slideshow. It's more fun to see them in that format.

I took Misty to the vet this morning. She is having two lumps removed... one from her neck and one from her back. I won't know what they are until the pathology report comes back, but I was advised by the vet three weeks ago to get them both removed. She wasn't too happy when I left her there, and I wished I could have stayed until they put her to sleep, but that was a couple of hours away yet. It's noon. She's probably in the middle of the surgery right now, or at least, coming out of it. I will be able to pick her up after 4pm.

Max, on the other hand, was not happy when I left him behind, alone. He knew we were going for a ride in the car, probably became aware of that when I said 'Misty, let's go for a ride in the car!' He didn't understand why he couldn't go. He loves the ride in the car. He barked his little mini-schnauzer heart out as we walked away from the house.

When I came home, he was so anxious, so I took him outside. Grabbed my camera, and out we went for a little stroll through the woods and the yard.

I had planned to include four of the photos in the larger size, and the slideshow the rest. Like I said, I'm still learning the steps.

However, the reason I came to make this entry was to offer this startling observation: today I walked across the front yard for the first time in 17 years.

How could that be, you may ask? I've walked through our yard many times over the years, but today, I walked from the woods toward the house, across the portion directly in line with our front door.

For seventeen years, there has been a koi pond in the front yard. For all those years I have walked around the yard, around the pond. There was no straight line from the woods to the front door.

I didn't realize I was making this momentous trek until I was in the middle of the newly grown grass, still soft, the yellow straw beneath peeking through broad green blades. I stopped briefly and thought, 'I'm standing in the middle of the pond!'

And then, sadly: 'The pond is gone.'

(Good thing it was gone or I would have been standing in four feet of water!)

I turned to look at all the parts of the pond, the stones that outlined it at the ground level piled neatly around the base of a tree, the filtering system laid out to dry over near the creek, the liner also laid out.

The sound of splashing koi no longer turns my head, the waterfall is silent, and the resident water snake has found a new home somewhere.

Yet, peacefulness surrounds the place. I found new wonders of nature to ponder upon. Trees I did not know the names of, berries I had never noticed before.

Max led the way through the woods, for he had paths he knew, paths I didn't walk. He stopped to look back at me. I wondered what he did during the day when I didn't go outside with him. He seldom leaves our property, is always within earshot... except once in a blue moon when he runs to Marlene's house. We must have had a blue moon this week.

So I watched him, and did what he did. I looked at the ground. I poked into the grass. I studied critters that crawled in the leafy detritus on the ground. I noticed birds playfully pursuing each other amidst a pile of tree limbs, chirping. Squirrels chattered away above our heads, declaring us invaders. Max did not chase the critters he saw today. I think he would have if Misty were here.

Happily, I just received a phone call from the animal hospital. Misty is out of surgery, she is doing well. I'll take pictures when she comes home.

Now, I need to focus on the most important event of the summer: Vacation Bible School!

Bear with me. I will be writing about it as it progresses. We are having ours July 16-21. Fiesta! is our theme. Anyone working on that one?

About Me picture was added today.

Thanks to Journal Editor Joe's help, I was able to read his instructions on how to post a picture to my journal. Today is the first day you see my picture in the About Me column to the left. The photo is not recent... it was taken 18 months ago... I will try to update it now that I know how to do this.

I hope to apply this new skill (adding larger pictures) to future entries. I enjoy using the aol pictures window... the slideshow feature is a fun way to view several pictures. But sometimes I just have one picture, and I want it big.

John Monday Photo Shoot: Patterns and Textures

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Patterns and Textures
Part of the idea of the Monday Photo Shoot here is to try to look at familiar things in new ways.

Find an interesting pattern or texture somewhere in your home. Take a picture of it.

View larger to see them better.

 

#1-4 In the first four pictures you see the pattern in the wood on our main bathroom door, as seen from inside when the door is closed. In color,and b&W. It was 1982, and we had been living in our house almost a year before I noticed the dark nature of the patterns. I saw hooded figures, faces of wizards, and mischievous, magical dwarves. I chuckled at first when I noticed them, but then I wondered if my 3-year old son would think they were as funny.... I never pointed out the images to him, never told him what I saw. He didn't like sleeping in his own room at the time, so I hadn't wanted to further add to his already active imagination. I was afraid he'd see them as scary monsters, and he'd never want to use that bathroom again. I waited until he was older, and able to understand fantasy to point them out. Still, the wood texture images amuse me even today.

 

#5-7: The curving nature of the leaves on my candle holder inspired the shapes and patterns I would choose to remake the bathroom three years ago. I found the same patterns in two separate places: at Bed, Bath, and Beyond in a sheer shower curtain, and at Sherwin-Williams in a wallpaper pattern. I was so happy to find what I was looking for. Well worth the hours I had put into the search.

 

#8-11:  Mother nature is always just outside my front and back doors. I took the camera with me yesterday for a walk in the woods.Found lots of interesting patterns and textures on the ground, and on the trees. I especially love the cushion of moss growing in the backyard. Up close, the soft carpet of green-ness looks like a community of tight and tiny ferns.

 

 

 

If you wish to participate in the Monday Photo Shoot, please come back and leave your link in my comment section, and leave one at John's journal as well.

16 Ponderous Questions to answer

I found these questions over at Jackie's journal, Waiting to Exhale, and decided to borrow them for my entry tonight. Some of the questions were hard to answer. If you want to participate, just copy them into your journal, then leave a link here in the comments so I can come read your responses.

1-What do you want people to say about you when you die?Good things, I suppose. To note the good I did, or the good in me. That I loved my husband and son, and that I became a better person because of them. That I loved the Lord, and tried to follow

2-How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Most of the time, about 20-30 minutes. It depends upon whether I have to fix my hair. If I have to wash my hair first, then give me an hour.

3-If you were an animal what would you be? Hmmm, I would love to be a bird, not a caged one, but a free one. Most any species with the ability to fly… except a vulture for obvious reasons. Not too small that I’d be a predator for many other animals, but a larger one. Not one hunters would want to shoot down (so not a duck or a pheasant). I’d like to be a bird with a long life span and a plentiful food source. Flying is the reason. (so, not a penguin, peacock, or chicken).

4-What's your biggest fear? That I will die before my husband… I want to take care of him, I want to make sure he gets all the care he deserves. I want to make sure he is comfortable, not in pain, that he is not left alone. I think I can handle being alone better than he can. Even in the end.

5-What’s your most prized possession? I have accumulated lots of things over the years, and I have a problem throwing things away if it’s something I may find a practical use for. However, if the house were to burn down, and everything in it, I would not grieve, as long as my family, including pets, were not hurt. I don’t feel attached to any thing.

6-What’s the funniest word you can think of? Onomatopoeia (you know, words that make the sound they represent, hiss; yap-yap!; buzz; woof!)

7-Do you get along with your parents? Yes. When my dad was alive, yes. I still get along with my mother. I wish she would come live with me!

8-What do you look for in the opposite sex? Humor, patience, intelligence, and a good heart.

9-What was the most difficult thing you had to do? Be strong for my parents after their El Paso accident in June, 1997. My father was in a halo, his neck broken, and we were on the 3-day Air Force Nightengale flight back to Georgia. He was so uncomfortable, in pain. I sat one row down from him. My mother sat beside him, her scalp still missing a big piece. She would need skin grafts when she got home. He kept asking me to adjust the pillows behind him, and I got up every time to do it. I was so very exhausted by the time we were on the plane to get them home. I’m sure he could see that in my face. I felt so sad for him, for what he was going through, for his loss, our loss. I cried every moment I was alone, but not in front of them. Lost in my grieving thoughts, I heard him call my name one more time. I turned to look at him, and his eyes welled up. He apologized for bothering me about the pillows so much. It was all I could do not to cry right then, seeing the suffering he had to live through. I knelt before him, took his hand in mine, and said, “Daddy, I’ll move those pillows a hundred more times if you ask me to. As many times as you need them moved. You tell me where you want me to put it, okay? It’s not a bother.” The hardest thing I have ever had to do for nearly three weeks: watch my parents suffer.

10-If you were given one day to live what would you do? I’d probably want to see my husband and son, and speak to my closest friends, to tell them what they have meant in my life, and how they made my life richer and more meaningful, and that I had had a good life. And have a big group picture made with all my favorite people.

11-If you could relive any day of your life either for good or to change it what would it be? The day when there was a terrible storm in the area, and I drove my son home from a ballgame, through the wind and rain, and he was so scared because he thought there might be a tornado in the area. Tree=limbs were everywhere, the sky was dark. I made light of it, and made fun of his fear, even as we grabbed pillows and headed for the basement room. I was laughing, and he was getting more and more hysterical with each passing minute. If I could relive that one more time, I wouldn’t make fun of his fear, and I’d try to say encouraging words, comforting words. I was being so silly, perhaps to hide my own fear.

12-What's the worst feeling in the world? guilt, after doing something you know is absolutely wrong.

The best? Being forgiven for having done something you know is absolutely wrong, whether the other person forgives you, or you forgive yourself. Or you forgive another for something they did wrong.

13-If you could meet anyone who ever existed who would it be? why?  One of my family's ancestors. I don't know who in particular, but someone from either my father's or mother's side, whichever one it was that came over to this country from France, Ireland or Scotland. I want to hear them tell me what motivated them to come here, and to tell me what they had to do to get here. I want to hear the stories of that family, good or bad. There is someone, I'm sure, who did a new and good thing that would make us all feel proud of him or her, someone that we could say, "yeah, that relative's blood is my blood." I want a story from that past to give my child and his children.

14-What was the meanest thing you ever did as a little kid? I let the boy next door kiss me just so he’d let me read his comic books. I didn’t like him for any other reason. He had the coolest comic books, and he always stared at me, so when he asked if he could kiss me, I made a deal with him. After he kissed me, he gave me the comic books, and we sat on the doorstep for the next hour, me reading, and he staring at me. A few days later, he came to our back door, and gave my father a nickel to give to me. My father told him I couldn’t have it, and sent him away. Then he had a talk with me about why I shouldn’t accept gifts from boys. I was ten years old, or so. That day I learned that it wasn’t very nice to use people like that.

15-What have you learned about love? That you have to give from the depths of your heart, that it doesn’t hurt when you do. That you have to learn how to receive love from another. Giving love is easy, receiving love isn’t so easy. More people are likely to refuse to receive love than to give love. Some people are harder to love than others, but they still need to be loved. A closed heart hurts worse than an open heart. A broken heart is able to love another more than one that has never been broken.

16-How have you changed in the past year? I’ve become more open to change, looking for opportunities to change rather than avoiding them. I’m stepping out of the boat because someone is asking me to come out and walk on the water again!