There is Joy!

                                 

My sister and her husband arrived on the 30th, Saturday, and left this morning to return to her home in Georgia. It was a brief, but wonderful visit. Truly, she lives up to her name in this stage of her life. Joy.

She was born a year and a half after I was. I held the distinction of being first born, and didn't understand the ramifications of such an honorary position in the family order of siblings until I was an adult. However, as youngsters, she and I were very close, sharing everything.

We adored each other. She followed me everywhere and copied everything I did, and I taught her everything I learned in school as soon as I got home each day. If I came home with chewing gum in my mouth, she was the first person to benefit from the surprise. She didn't care that I had already chewed it. She was too young to understand germs, but like I said, we shared everything in our youngest of days.

She was born while our father was stationed in French Morocco. When he returned home, the story goes, as our mother tells it, baby Joy did not know this man whose arms she was thrust into. Daddy was not a word she had come to know the meaning of. I don't know how old she was when dad came back, nor do I remember our happy reunion. I may have been two/three years old. I'm sure I greeted my father in shy jubilation, for I knew him. She did not. Mom said she cried every time he picked her up.

By the time our first brother Joey was born, my dad and baby sister Joy had not yet established a good bonding. I am making this inference from the things both my parents have revealed to me over the years, years of trying to understand the relationships each of us have had with them. So when child number three, otherwise known as #1 Son, was born, my father's affection was directed more to him than to daughter #2. Then came sons #2, #3, and #4. The last born was daughter #3. I was eleven years old when she was born.

Of all the children, my sister felt the least loved. Her words. I always assured her that our parents loved us all equally, but I think what she was really saying was that they didn't show their love equally. I think they were overwhelmed with the responsibilities of parenthood, and loved us each in their own way. She came to recognize this rather late in life.

Sometimes one child needed more attention than another. We each had our way of seeking the attention we needed. I was the obedient child, and this earned me their praises. She was the argumentative child, outspoken when she experienced unfairness. This trait earned her countless memories of punishments, angry words, and hurt feelings. My sister did not experience joy as a child. This would later affect her relationships with husbands, and those she had with her own children.

                                                        

That's me on the left, and Joy on the right. Possibly this was taken in 1956, when she was two years old (or younger) and I was three/three and a half.

I took this brief stroll through my sister's and my life because I want her to know how very much I love her, how very much I have always loved her, and how I yearn to know that she has found joy in her own heart. I think she has come to that place in her life this year.

                                    

In this photo, we are both in school. This one was taken in 1959, according to handwriting on back of photo. Which means I'm about six and a half, and she is five-ish. I'm in first grade, sheis in kindergarten.

                                

This photo was taken last night, on New Year's Eve 2006. I believe this was our first New Year's Eve together at my house. Actually we were at my friend Alyson's house for the occasion.

                                  

Here I am with my girlfriends and my sister last night. Actually, any one of us would claim that we were all sisters. Aren't we a picture of motherhood, health and happiness? That's me on the left, Beth, Carol, Joy, and Alyson. I could write a book about this fine group of ladies, but I'm saving that story for another day.

I am so proud of all that Joy has done with her life. She became a nurse after all her kids had grown and left home, at about the same time that I became a teacher. Seems we still have a kind of soul connection that cannot be hindered by time or distance.

Despite the hardships she has endured throughout her life, she strives to find the good in everyone she encounters. A generous person, she would give you anything she has. She raised five beautiful children who have blessed her with ten or eleven grandchildren... I've lost count. She would love to do more and be more for her grandkids, but therein lies her heartache. Revealing more than this would be treading on her privacy.

She is like the lotus flower I have many times referred to in my journal. The lotus flower is a most beautiful blossom that has its beginnings in the muck and mire of a muddy bog. A hardy plant, it needs a certain amount of warmth and sunlight to coax it out of its dark and dismal beginning. Once it raises above the mud, the blossom eventually opens to reveal all its beauty to the world.

                                                  

Here is my sister with the man she married several years ago. He has loved her the most, he is the sunlight and warmth of her life, the one who has helped to create the conditions which has allowed her to bloom.

Yes, my sister is a joy to be with. I am so glad that we have these moments together. I wish things could have been different, could have been better in the past, but then, she wouldn't be where she is right now. The truth is, we can never know where we would be had things been different.

I am grateful for the light and warmth in her life now, and yes, I am talking about her husband.

There is plenty of room for more joy to be experienced, however. One needs only to be aware of what is right in front of them. It can all be taken away in the blink of an eye. My sister's health is not very good. She looks good, but she wouldn't appreciate me writing so much about her.

Life is short.

It isn't too late for those who haven't discovered the Joy in their life to reconnect with her.

Happy New Year, to all my friends and family!

Thank you Alyson for sharing your family with mine, for your open house policy, for your traditions, and for your determination to keep friends and family close. You inspire us all.

Thank you, Beth, for your friendship. You are a beautiful and loving woman who brings out the best in all of us.

Thank you, Carol, for your strength and your vision for change. You keep us all on our toes with your plans and your dreams.

And I thankmy husband who has to endure the love of my girlfriends, which he does very well, and with a sense of humor that carries us through the most difficult of times. To Beth's, Carol's, and Alyson's husbands as well... what a great bunch of guys we are married to! We would be so utterly lost and bored without them to spice up our lives. We are truly blessed.

And to all my J'land friends, I thank you for always being here, no matter the time of day, with words of encouragement and wisdom, praise, and advice... this is a fine community of friends, and I am ever grateful to know each of you in the way we have come to know each other: through our written word and shared stories.

Happy New Year all!

                                        Thank you Donna for the New Year's tag.

Tags: Happy New Year, Joy, D's Designs, family