Portrait of Max

                                                    

I sat down and sketched my Max today. The way I want to remember him. After I forget all the details of his passing. This is the Max who livened up our home.

I had him for 9 1/2 years, and the only time I drew him from life was long ago, when both dogs were sitting outside in the yard or on the chair in the living room. I don't even know where those sketches are, but I'm going to find it. Most of the sketches I did of them were when they were sleeping... had to get them when they were still. Sometimes they would sit and stare out a window long enough for me to capture them in pencil or pen and ink. Yeah, I have some of them around somewhere. Just got to find the sketch book they're in.

I have drawn pictures of all our dogs after they passed on. Just a few months ago I was thinking I should draw Max and Misty from life, in natural everyday poses. My sketches from life are more lively and spontaneous than the ones I copy from photographs. But I kept putting it off. Never put off until tomorrow... yeah, I know.

I sketched this one from a photograph... except the top of his head was cropped off, so I had to make up what the ears looked like. But I remember my baby's ears. They were my second favorite part to touch, after his head. His ears were the softest, silkiest ears to touch.

This is only the first of many sketches I will do as I work on a larger pencil drawing, or perhaps a watercolor. Something to hang alongside our other pet portraits.

We miss him so much. Today was probably the hardest day because I was home all day, alone. My husband had gone to work, and I was home with plenty to do, but couldn't get up the motivation to do more than write, read, putter about the house, and take Misty out for a walk. It's so quiet without Max's barks and the way he would 'talk' when I petted his belly ... low, soft growling sounds that sounded like speech. Misty doesn't do it like Max did.

                                    

While I was looking for a file to save the image of the pencil sketch, I found this picture in the same folder. Max and his soft football. We buried him with that football. Steve laid it beneath his head like a pillow. Sometimes Max slept on it like a pillow. He loved for me to throw that football. He'd leap into the air like a basketball player trying to catch it before it hit the ground. If Misty took it and ran, Max would chase her down, snatch the ball from her, and run back to me with it.

I like to think that he and our other dogs are running around together, perhaps hanging out with my dad, his dog, my sister, my niece, and their dog. I'd like to think he's running across Rainbow Bridge, playing with the other dogs who went before him, wagging his tail, waiting for Misty, waiting for Steve and me.

I'd like to think of Max anywhere other than where he is right now.

I'm still sad... sorry for making such sad entry. I think it helps to write about my feelings just now. I will have happy things to write about again.

 

Tags: Max, pencil sketch, sadness, grief