Monday, October 30, 2006

Where do your explorations take you?

 

We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

                                    T.S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-born British Poet

 

      

I took these fall photos last week, just downloaded them yesterday, and decided to take care of it before I go to bed. There were more leaves on the tree last week, of course, and most had blown down over the past couple of days.

The above shot is a view of our front yard. The one below is our back yard, both taken from about the same position on the side of our home, facing East-Southeast, mid-morning.

            

                                        Here is where my buried treasure lies.

The quote that opens this entry is one of those truths that lends itself to many versions of the same story told over hundreds of years. Maybe you have heard one version or another.

Here's one that I remember:

There was a poor man who had the same dream every night for several nights. In thedream, he walked to a big city and found a great treasure near a bridge there. He ignored the dream at first, but after a week, he decided to leave his family behind and seek out the dream. After walking for several days, he arrived at the city, and hung around the bridge, looking for the treasure.

A palace guard was suspicious of the man loitering, so he asked him what he was doing there, and the poor man told the guard of his dream.

"What a foolish thing to do, old man," laughed the guard. "There is no treasure here! Go home to your family. Do you see me looking for treasure? I had a dream last week myself that showed me a treasure buried beneath the stove in a poor man's hut out in the country. It was a foolish dream, too! Go home old man.There is no treasure here."

The poor man walked directly home, and when he got there, he dug the earth beneath his stove. Imagine his surprise when he found the buried box of silver and gold coins! His family was never hungry nor poor again.

When I think of that story, I think not of buried treasure, nor money, nor wealth of that nature. As in the TS Eliot quote, when we explore within our world, and we should explore, our talents, our skills, our faith, our relationships, we will eventually come to know something new about ourselves, and about those with whom we live.

We come to realize that it (what we were searching for) was there all along, that we just didn't see it. It was buried, in a sense, from our awareness. Perhaps a dream triggers it, perhaps some action we take, some decision we make, a move, a job, a word we hear spoken. We turn around and, within and without, find ourselves with a new sight and new understanding of what we have lived, and even where we are going.

It's like we see our purpose for the very first time. Or we see our strength for the first time, we recognize our Creator within ourselves. In that way, we are given a new life, a second chance, a new beginning, a rebirth.

That is the treasure:  to find ourselves back where we started and knowing it for the very first time. Thank you, Mr. Eliot, for making that so crystal clear to me!!!

This solves a piece of the puzzle of life for me. How about you?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I'm on a roll tonight

                       
                                                                                  Chris at Cab's Creations made the graphic!
 
 
This list does not represent the entire list of nominees. I'm going through the list as they get my attention. For the entire list, go to VIVI Awards Journal.
 
This is my second installment of the journals I am cruising through tonight. I may not get to all the nominations tonight, but I'm going to make an honest effort.
 
Yes, this category is the one I was nominated for. Thank you, thank you very much!
 
A reminder: I'm changing the color of the font to red after I visit them. My plan to help me remember which ones I've visited.
 
 
EDUCATION
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

I'm checking out some of the nominees tonight

 
Tonight, I'm browsing through the following blogs and journals for the VIVI Awards, which will take place on November 2nd. I'm going to try to visit each one and leave a comment.
 
I hope this will help me make up my mind about some of those I don't know much about. The one's highlighted in read means I am already familiar with them. I know who some of my favorites are in some of the categories, but there were some categories I did not recognize many of the names.
 
My plan is to do a couple of groups each day. I'll probably skip over the groups in which I've already made up my mind. As I visit them, I will change the color of the font to red so I'll know which ones I have visited. Also, Guido's (Pharmolo) link at VIVI did not work for me, so I changed the link address here.
 
 
So here goes:
 
 
BEST INTERNATIONAL
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
So, if you are participating in the VIVI Awards, what's your plan... have you visited most of the nominees yet? Do you know the authors of these journals?
 
More will be forthcoming.
 
See you around!  
 
< grin >
 
                                                  
                                                           Angry Tiki God, Extremepumpkins.com

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The value of a blog?

Gee, my blog isn't worth as much as Kate's at Analysis of Life! 

How do they figure out the value?

                                                             


My blog is worth $36,695.10.
How much is your blog worth?

You can find the value of yours as well by clicking on How Much is... within the graphic above. Then send me a link to your entry!
 
I also posted mine in the left About Me column.... I want to see if the value increases or decreases over time.  <grin>
 
But how do they get those numbers? When I submitted my beta url address, my journal received a tenth of the value the non-beta address received.Hmmm.... what is that all about?
 

The greatest gift

Just a few days ago, we had a lockdown practice in my classroom with my second grade students. One of the boys in that class, the one who didn't do as much talking during our practice, the one who took it a little more seriously, is moving away this evening. I just found out about it three days ago. His father walked into the school earlier this week and told the office staff that they were moving. Far away, to another state.

Yesterday, the boy was absent, and I worried that I wouldn't see him today. I wanted to give him all his things, his papers, his supplies, and some special things from his classmates, and from me, to remember us by.

While he was out yesterday, the kids and I made him a huge letter/poster out of chart paper. They told me what to write, and then they decorated it with stickers and drawings, signed their names, and wrote their own "I love you" and "We miss you!" messages.

I thought I was going to have to mail it to him.

Imagine my surprise and delight that he came to school today! I was able to hug him, and tell him how much we were going to miss him. The other students were able to do the same.

At the end of the day, I gave him his progress report, and told him to make sure his daddy got it, and that I would send one to his new school, so his new teacher would know how he was doing in my classroom. I hugged him one more time, kissed the top of his head, and said goodbye.

He nodded. He was excited about the move. He said he was going to miss "this" class, indicating the little group I pulled into the trailer each day. I told him we were going to miss him even more.

I'm probably never going to see him again. Where they are going it is very cold, to a great city in Illinois, near Lake Michigan.

I regretted that I had not thought to bring my camera with me today to get his picture with his classmates, the three of them. They've been very close these past few months since school started. So cute, the three of them, giggling in the closet the other day. Always they find something to giggle about.  I would have loved a photo of him to remind me of his contribution to our classroom.

So when I saw that video my friend had emailed to me, I was already feeling a bit sad, and tired because it was nearly 6:00 pm. The day had been long, and I still had the fall festival to attend at school. Where would I get the energy to keep going?

That video made me cry because I often complain (to myself, to my husband, and sometimes to my girlfriend and my son) that I'm tired, that I wish I didn't have to put in so many hours to get my work done.

When I think about the devotion Mr. Hoyt has for his son, watching him carry his boy during the marathon race, towing him in the swimming race, knowing of the passion and compassion that drives him forward each and every day since his little baby boy came into this world suffering from brain damage, it made me realize that I give much less than that to my family.

That I could have his depth of devotion.

But could I? Have that depth of devotion? Could it just have been moved to another aspect of my life somehow? It just doesn't show up in the family framework like it once did, when I was a younger mother. Where did it go? I love my family, but the time I now spend taking care of home and family matters has dropped considerably since I became a teacher.

My adult son is healthy and taking care of himself now, supporting himself, putting himself through school. And my husbandis also healthy, supporting us, preparing for retirement, taking care of the home and property. They mayneed my emotional and spiritual support, just to know that I'm there as mom and wife and friend. But I really doubt our needs as a mature family are the same as they were twenty five years ago.

I wonder if all that devotion that I had for them, when my son was a baby, then an adolescent, a teen, a young adult, has simply been transferred to my work, and to my students. Quite possibly.

The tears I felt earlier tonight washed away some of the guilt I had felt about ever thinking that I worked too many hours. I understand why Mr. Hoyt lives for his son, and why the son lives for his father. There's no greater gift than to give one's life for another.

The video reminded me that you don't have to die to give your life for another. A life lived to enrich another or others, to prepare, to educate, to heal, nurture, advise, direct, motivate, inspire, and to love another is worth any sacrifice one must make in the course of a lifetime. Whether that devotion is directed toward one's family or one's calling, the intent is the same.

It's about giving to and serving others. There is no greater work than this.

I returned to the fall festival earlier this evening with a substantial amount of energy, a renewed heart, and a feeling of joy. I had fun, and I even dressed up for the occasion: A black wizard cape trimmed in red, and an elegant wizard's hat trimmed with soft purple feathers.

                                                       

I came home late this evening, after our school's fall festival, and I downloaded some photos I had taken of tonight's events. As I was organizing the photos, and filing them to their appropriate folders in my picture program, darn if I didn't find a photo I had taken of the kids during their first two weeks of school. I have a picture of him after all!

I'm going to print and post it on a special wall in my room so the kids won't forget their little friend. And so I won't forget his sweet little face, and to remind me to pray for him and his very large family.

Friday, October 27, 2006

I can only imagine...

I wrote about Superman Returns the other day, how I could see the symbols of Christian faith within the movie that was released this past summer.

Today, I watched  a four minute video from YouTube, and saw God working through a father and his son.

I will watch it every time I think I can't do any more than I already am.

Here it is. I didn't want to write about it. The video says it better than any words I could put together.

 

                         

 

Credit: to my friend and colleague, Becky, for sending the email with the link to the video, and for bringing it to my attention. And to the blogger, Steve, who wrote about it first.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

"Our school is going into lockdown!"

That was the announcement that came over the intercom two days ago.

Fortunately, it was a drill. Like fire drills and tornado drills, schools are required to practice for lockdowns now. We (the teachers and staff) had known we were going to have one this week, but the closest we could come to pinning down exactly when it would take place was to the day it would be. We could only guess at what time it would be. I had thought it would be near the end of the day. I guessed wrong. It took place in the morning. While I was in my mobile classroom. AKA trailer.

You know what I'm talking about when I say a trailer?

                           

This is my classroom, in case you didn't see it when I first added it to my journal entry back in August. It's old, no bathroom. But it has heating and air conditioning that I can control, and it has a sink for washing hands, and a water fountain. I like my little classroom.

But look at it. Not much protection from tiny flying, wood- and flesh-piercing missiles. I do feel very vulnerable out there when thoughts turn to the possibility of angry, deranged, or otherwise mentally disturbed people carrying weapons on our campus.

Hasn't happened yet. But you read the news. It does happen, in even the nicest of communities, to even the most forgiving of communities. It's the reality we live in today in our country, our land of the free and home of the brave.

So, in anticipation of a lockdown drill, we practiced for the lockdown drill last week ... my second graders were with me at the time. Imagine practicing a lockdown with second graders. They giggle a lot. ....

 I first think about what I should say in the event the kids ask me why we are laying flat on the floor of the classroom. The answer, "Just in case something happens!" is far too vague for the curious and ever questioning minds of 2nd graders. Likewise, the response, "Just in case there is a man/boy standing outside our classroom with an automatic weapon, shooting at us!" seems too blunt and terrifying.

I opt for a middle ground approach. I need to make them understand the importance of being quiet, of laying still on the floor, and of doing exactly as I tell them to do. Immediately! 

I ask them if they know what a lockdown is. I know it is possible that their regular ed teachers have already talked about it with them, and perhaps had even practiced in their classrooms. Young Hispanic Boy says, "I know what a lockdown is! It's when we have to hide in our rooms, and nobody is allowed to come in, and we can't go out, and the teacher locks the door and turns out the lights, and we have to be quiet, and if we are in the hallways when we hear lockdown, we have to go into the classroom we see first and if..."

Young HB would have spoken on and on in one non-stop sentence, as he usually does. He writes that way, too. But he knows what a lockdown is. I tell him he is right. That's what a lockdown is. The teacher has to lock her doors and close the blinds, and everyone has to get on the floor.

I dread asking the next question. If they don't know the answer, then I, like a parent dreading explaining the facts of life to their prepubescent daughter or son, will have to offer some sensible explanation.

But in my mind, there is no sensible explanation to why we live in times when young men think that shooting into a classroom of children is a solution to any of their problems, or any of the world's problems.

"Do you know why we have to practice lockdown?" I ask.

Other Hispanic boy says, with appropriate seriousness and without any animation in his voice or face,  "Because there might be someone outside with a gun shooting at us."

Ah, they've already heard about it then. So I'm not the first person having to explain it after all. The YH Boy becomes very animated. The subject excites him. He raises his hand, "Yeah, they might be shooting us and we might get hit like this," and he fake falls to the floor.

Okay... I ask them where they think would feel safe in my classroom. You see, in this situation it isn't about being safe as much as it is about feeling safe. I can lock the doors, block the windows and lower the blinds. I can put out the green card to let police know we are okay, or red cards to let them know someone is injured. But there is nothing in those four walls that is going to stop a bullet from piercing through the walls and killing or injuring my students or myself. I don't tell them what I'm thinking. There is no need to add fear to their school day.

They look around, closely scrutinizing the hiding places of the classroom. Two closets stand out in their eyes. One points and the other two run to the closet. "We can hide in there," little Girl suggests.

I open the closet door. They step inside, the three of them crowded like crayons in the crayon box. The giggling starts when I close the door. I wait a moment, giving them a few seconds to adjust to the darkness.

The giggling continues. I say "Okay, you kids are laughing too much. We are supposed to be quiet during a lockdown or the person we want to go away will hear us and know we are in here." I pause. They stop giggling for exactly one second, and then it starts again.

I open the door. "What about me? There is no room for me in the closet. Where can I hide?" 

"In the other closet," said the girl. I show them the other closet. No room there for even a little kid.

"No, that won't work either. I can't fit in there!. We need another plan." Then I direct them to come sit on the floor with me, in a small area created by bookshelves and desks, away from windows and doors. We sit there for a few seconds while I plan what I will say. It's time to get serious.

I explain to them how I want them to lay flat on the floor right here where we are sitting. I lay down on the floor to demonstrate, and they copy me. They slide their little bodies beneath the desks, and lay their faces on the carpet. I show them how to hold their hands against the carpet and lay their faces on their hands, and they do it. Then I speak in a very low, almost whisper as I continue. The tone is set and they listen.

YH Boy suggests we practice one more time starting at their desks. "Pretend you are the principal and you tell us to have lockdown."

Good idea. Maybe he's stalling to avoid classwork, but they're listening right now, and they won't forget what we're learning right now. I tell them to return to their desks, and we work a few minutes. I say suddenly, "Boys and girls, we are going into lockdown!"

While I turn to my duties in locking the doors and covering the door windows with velcroed poster board, they scramble for the floor beneath the desks. As I turn off the lights, they are wriggling into their flat positions on the floor. I join them and lay on the floor beside them. They are not giggling. That's my kids. They always come through when you need them to.

Then I think, what if there is shooting, bullets whizzing through the windows or walls, and what if I get shot? Will they know what to do? I don't want to bring it up, but I've heard of four year olds calling 911 for help because their parents taught them what to do if mommy or daddy won't wake up.

As we lay on the floor in my quiet and somewhat darkened room, I speak low again. "Okay you are doing great. This is how I want you to be during the lockdown. Quiet and flat on the floor. But ... what if your teacher falls to the floor while she is locking the doors. What should you do?"

"I know what I would do," says YH Boy. He sits up and explains with gestures. "I would get up and go to the door and..."

I stop him.

"You will lay on the floor right where you are now and you won't get up," I tell him. "I want you to lay on the floor no matter what happens, and you don't get up for anyone."

"But I could call for help," he says.

"And you could get be thenext one killed." I respond. "Listen to me, kids. No matter what happens, you will lay on the floor, and stay there until a policeman unlocks the door. Do you understand?"

They nod. "It probably will never happen." I say lightly. "But if it does, if your teacher in any classroom should fall to the floor during a lockdown, what should you do?"

They answer in unison "Lay on the floor and don't get up."

My job done, I draw them back to their reading lesson. The rest of the day continues, teaching as usual.

Yes, the actual school-wide drill went without a hitch. The second graders weren't in my classroom during the drill after all because it took place just minutes after I had walked them back to their regular classrooms.. It was just myself and the young college student from a local university. So I went through all the motions of lockdown. 

It was as uneventful as we wish all lockdowns to be.