Name that plant answer!

For those who need to know what that plant is that I had posted in a previous entry....

                                

            Why, it's a May Apple, of course... the apples haven't grown yet.

                                      Probably won't see them until May.

       

 

 

Tags: May Apples

Real Moms Let Go

I was tagged by Marie at Marie's Muses. She had written an entry about real moms, which seems to have begun at Kristen's blog, The Mom Trap. It's been a couple of days since I was first tagged, but this is the first chance I've had to sit down and make an entry.

"Real moms" is the topic. Go read Marie's entry (click on link above), with great family photos to show her kids growing up, her family together, and a delicious recipe to make your mouth water, as all her recipes do to me.

Marie's response to the blog tag is that real mom's make mistakes. True, and since she has pretty much covered that topic thoroughly, expressing my feelings on the matter, which only goes to prove that mothers feel very similarly about many things regarding their children, I'm going to try to expound upon another motherly matter: letting go.

                                                      

                                                   Kissing the Face of God by Morgan Weistling 

                        Real moms let go.

It's about trust and faith when we let go. We trust our instincts as mothers. We trust the values we have instilled in our children. We trust others to whom we send our children for learning, those who would make our sick children healthy again, and we trust our faith in God to hold them in His gracious Hands when we let go of our children's hands.

Mothers don't always let go without fear, but they do it because they know they have to. Apples fall from trees, and birds urge their chicks to jump out of the nest. Mother dogs nip at their pups when they want them to let go, and humans, ... well, we do it very gradually. It could take half a lifetime for some of us!

It's all about growing up. And we want our kids to grow up more than anything.

It begins the day they are born, and our babies are separated from us at birth. The umbilical cord is cut. After nine months, mother and baby no longer share one identity. Until that birth day, mom-and-baby seem like one. We only see the mom, and her swollen belly. We know there is a fetus developing in there, but until he is born, we don't really know much about him (or her) except that we want him/her to be healthy, and we know we're going to love whoever comes out into the light.

The baby is born, a miracle no less, and he is suddenly thrust violently into this great physical world beyond the warm and protective waters of the womb, perhaps a precursor of life experiences to come. The cord is often unceremoniously cut, but the mother has one last opportunity to hang onto the little one. As long as the baby nurses, no one but she can provide the nutrition he requires. Nursing is one way a mother can keep her infant just a few months longer. I can only describe it as bliss. The nursing couple experiences sweet, peaceful, shared bliss. Who would want that to end? But end it must.

My little one weaned himself gradually, and by the time he was a year old, nursing had ceased between us. That's when I realized that I was letting go of my son, or was he letting go of me? I was doing it on his terms. I knew then that I would follow his clock, and I would know when he was ready to leave me.

                                                      

Little by little, he did. I handled it all pretty well, from the time I let him go to day care (which began when he was six months old), to letting him go to kindergarten, and much later, on to college. It was much easier by then.

I remember his first night away from home, he was just five years old and he wanted to spend the night with a neighbor child. About midnight, we got a phone call from the neighbor, telling us our boy was homesick and wanted to come home. My husband drove down the road to pick up our son, while I waited at home. When the door opened, Steven came running to me, and as I stooped to hug him, he burst into tears. "I'm sorry," he cried. "I tried to stay there, I really tried, but I couldn't. I wanted to be in my house. I want to be with you and daddy."

I soothed his tears, and held him while he settled down. He fell asleep quickly in his bed. The next day, when the opportunity presented itself, I talked to him about what happened. He was embarassed that he had left his friend like that. He thought it meant he was still a baby. I told him it just meant he wasn't ready to spend the night away from home, but that when he was ready to try again, we would let him. The opportunity came within a few months, and he had no problem the second attempt.

Real moms know that letting a kid do things on their own is the main ingredient for growing independence. We also know that letting kids make a mess while doing these things on their own is also an important feature of learning. Kids make mistakes... it's guaranteed. But real momsknow that the mistakes are the main ingredient for the learning process. If you want a kid to learn how to cook, he's got to get in the kitchen and he's going to make a mess. He's going to forget to brown the ground beef before he adds it to the spaghetti sauce, but that mistake will only happen once. And then you both have something to laugh about when he's all grown up.

                                                   

He's going to be curious about life, and animals, and bugs, and plants.  When he is four years old, and he plays with a toad, his curiosity about the toad leads him to poke it with a stick. He pokes it so thoroughly that the toad doesn't move any more. He knows this is wrong, and he feels terrible about it, and he is afraid to tell his parents. They recognize his silence, and question him. He tells them the toad is dead. He leads them to the dead toad, a stick in its mouth. The mother removes the stick, and the toad suddenly stretches out its legs and hops away.

His curiosity and interest in learning about life means that things will come into your house, crawling, hopping, six-legged things because he wants to know more. It means the lizard he found on vacation, that you told him to leave at the beach, escapes from its makeshift home, and is found dead three weeks later on the fireplace.

We let our kids go so they can learn some things on their own, so they can practice making choices, even if they make a wrong choice now and then. They find out what guilt feels like, and how to resolve guilt.

The letting go continues as the child reaches out beyond the home and beyond school. He joins a baseball league, and real moms sit for hours under the hot sun watching their sons play baseball, even if their son has to sit on the bench once in awhile. The child grows older, and a real mom finds herself only needed as a chauffeur... the child is still too young to drive.

The greatest severance, though, takes place when the child starts driving. Real moms take up prayer rather than tell their children they can't drive themselves to school. I think the pain of separation was greatest those first weeks after my son got his license to drive, even greater than when he went away to college. By the time he started college, I had come totrust him, as he had earned all of my trust by then. By then, I didn't worry about him making mistakes because he was old enough to deal with any consequences, but I worried about those around him making mistakes. I prayed that the mistakes they made wouldn't be life-threatening to any of them.

Apparently, any mistakes they made were all part of growing up, and my son and his friends have all gone on to begin their own lives.

There are other partings that haven't yet taken place. My son has not moved to another state (I am happy to report), and he hasn't gotten married yet. Someday he will, I have no doubt about that, and I will welcome my new daughter-in-law with all my heart. I know when he marries that there will be another parting because he won't be mine any longer... he will be hers. When sons get married, they leave their mothers to cleave unto their wives.

When a daughter gets married, there is a part in the wedding ceremony when the father gives his daughter away. There isn't such a moment for the mother of the son. Why is that?

All this letting go is only in preparation for the final letting go, the one that happens when our child dies. The natural course of events suggest that the parents will die before the child. But sometimes, life gets real messy, and the unexpected happens.

 

                                          

My youngest sister was a mom, twice. A car accident killed herand her 12-year old daughter (shown here as an infant) 10 years ago come June.

                                                                 *********************

My neighbor across the street experienced the ultimate grief when her sixteen year old son was killed in a four-wheeler accident just three years ago. The mothers in our neighborhood gathered at the family's home in shock, all hurting, thinking "It could happen to us... at any time it could happen to us." And we were there for her, for all the good it did. Our words in her ears were weak, I'm sure. How could we even know whatshe felt like? We could only imagine. Her only son would never walk through that door again, would never sit at the dinner table, would never smile at her. Suddenly the family dynamics changed, ended in the blink of an eye.

All the practice of letting go our children doesn't quite prepare us for that kind of ending. I don't think anything can prepare us for that final parting, but real mothers all over the world do it when they watch their sons and daughters, in military uniforms, board planes to fly into harms way in foreign lands, or the moms who live in those foreign lands, who watch their families die in front of their eyes, many themselves dying moments later. Real moms often live with pain. Real dads do too.

Real moms get dirty, and messy, and real moms grieve, even for other moms who lose their children, or their husbands, or their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters. Real moms don't want to lose the ones they love, but real moms know it can happen at any time, and they will deal with it with the same kind of spirit and strength that pulled them through childbirth so long ago.

They will scream, and holler, curse, and cry, and then ...  they will find the joy in their lives once more. Real moms aren't afraid to do it again.

                                    

                               Somereal moms in my neighborhood, photo taken last summer.

I tag Caroline, Barry(who could write about real moms even though he's a dad), and Kate (if she hasn't already been tagged)! 

In fact, if any of you would like to add to what Real Moms do, write your own "real moms" entry and leave your links here. I just didn't know who to tag that would want to do it.

Also, post your journal link back at Kirsten's blog.

Thanks, y'all!

 

Beautiful image at top of entry is one of my favorites, a painting by Morgan Weistling called Kissing the Face of God. The link to Mr. Weistling's homepage is http://morganweistling.com/index.html.

Tags: Real moms, letting go of our children

Mr. Poitier, springtime, and name that plant!

Did you see Oprah today? Sidney Poitier was being honored for his 80th birthday, and for his book, Measure of a Man.

Seven guests had been invited to attend this extravagant celebration, and were picked according to what they had written about Mr. Poitier, and how his book had impacted their lives. One of the dinner guests was the son of an assitant teacher at my school. She must be so proud! He is himself a teacher. The only reason I knew about this particular show was because I had read an article in today's local newspaper about it, and because our principal announced it over the intercom this afternoon. The only reason I made myself come home to watch it was for the same reason.

I could not believe that someone eighty years old could look so handsome and healthy as Mr. Poitier does.

After I watched the show, I walked about my yard, still marveling at the wisdom, integrity, and character of this man. I haven't read his biography yet, but I would like to. I wondered if any of you had read his book.

I took a few pictures of spring... yes spring is budding out all over the place. I knew if I didn't get these pictures today, it wouldn't be long before the blossoms have all fallen away.

                                    

                                 Hostas have been growing this week...                                                              they are among my favorites.

 

                                    

                           Azaleas blooming too. These will probably be white.

 

                                    

Name this plant! Just for fun, do you know what these are? There's a bunch of them growing in our woods. Leave me a comment if you recognize them. I'll come back in a few days with the answer. This is the only time that the markings on the leaves are so distinct. What do you think they are?

 

                                    

Our front yard. Dogwoods just in bloom. See that tiny little pond in the lower left? If you recall, last year I wrote several entries about the lotus plants, and the dragonflies mating... it all happened in that tiny little pond. It's more like a bog. No fish in this one. The ponds I wrote about over a year ago are filled in, and grass has grown over them. They used to be in the front yard, right between the house and the trees you are looking at now. This summer, I hope to see the lotus bloom again, but from what I've read, they don't bloom every year. That won't stop the dragonflies, though. I'm pretty sure there will plenty more blue skimmers to entertain and fascinate me.

Spring is in the air, and tonight it's supposed to cool off... we may even get some rain. Temperatures were in the 80's today... so a cool rain is going to be welcomed by all.

Tags: Springtime, plants, Sidney Poitier, Measure of a Man

Happy Birthday to Sheria and Marlene

                           

Today is the birthday of two very special people. Really, three, but Ste has already wished Donna, aka NightmareMom, a happy birthday with this same YouTube Video... I hope he doesn't mind that I've borrowed it, but I wanted to send it on to my friend Sheria, aka Aimer, at On My Mind, and for my young friend, Marlene, who is twelve years old.

                                      Happy Birthday!

                                                      

                                and of course, Happy Birthday to you too, Donna!

 

Things in my fridge... weekend assignment

What's in your Fridge? From John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment at By The Way.

Weekend Assignment #157: So, what's in your fridge? Be honest. If you include a picture of the current state of the fridge, that'd be nifty.

Extra Credit: What's the oldest thing in the fridge?

I don't often do these things, but since I'm actually having a full two-day weekend, thanks to a Teacher Workday scheduled for Monday which means students won't be in school, but teachers will (yeay!), I can actually do a just-for-fun-entry. About my refrigerator.

                                         

Top Shelf: Juices and water, and some left-over barbecue that I took out of the freezer this week to thaw out, but neither of us has eaten it yet. Also IBC Cream Soda for Marlene for letting my dogs out every day.

Second Shelf: (left bin) cheeses and packets of condiments left over from when we go out to eat. You know, like soy sauce, arby's sauce, sweet and sour sauce.

(right rack) sodas. I'm the caffeine free pepsi, he's the diet pepsi. I may drink a soda possibly twice a month. Those three you see there have been there for over a month. On the shelf itself: leftover something, jellies, jams, preserves, pickles, relishes, chow, that's a pecan pie under the sodas, and small tubs of butter. Behind the butter in the storage rectangle I keep eye masks, the blue-gel filled kind, and other gel-filled applications for headache relief. I need more than one so that when one gets too warm, I can just pull out another, particularly for those lengthy headaches that might otherwise go on and on for hours at a time.

Third Shelf: another small tub of butter spread, a baggie of almost gone lettuce, small bowl of crushed pineapple that I bought thinking I had sliced pineapple, and now it just sits there waiting for us to eat it. Also, eggs, bacon on top of the eggs, and leftover pizza slices on top of the bacon package. Tea bags in the small round, and Go-gurt. It's going down the drain, though. I had bought it for Marlene awhile back, as a treat for when she comes to let out the dogs, but I don't think she likes it. I don't either.

Bottom left bin: Chocolate Jello pudding for Marlene because she does like this. Her treat for letting out the dogs each afternoon. And two blocks of Velveeta cheese. We don't eat much cheese, but I bought it around New Year's Eve in case we wanted to make some cheese dip or something... and I didn't. How long does cheese keep like that?

Bottom right bin: grapes, onions, any fruits or veggies I buy go in here usually. Also, deli ham which my husband buys for his sandwiches.

                                                                

And in the door we keep our salad dressings and sauces, and my milk.

Extra Credit: the oldest thing in my fridge would have to be the Go-gurt...yeah, it's definitely going down the drain tonight, not even waiting until tomorrow! It's probably been in the fridge for a year now. I might not even have noticed it if I hadn't done this entry.

So, what's in your fridge? Leave a link so we can come by and see it!

 

 

 

White Coat Ceremony, School of Pharmacy

It wasn't like a graduation. He will graduate in another year. My son is a PharmD student in his third year at the School of Pharmacy at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Friday night, March 23rd, we witnessed what is known as the White Coat Ceremony.

                                 

All the third year PharmD students received their white coats, a symbolic ceremony to mark their transition from the classroom into pharmacy practice. There were about 120 students in the class of 2008. Our son Steven was among them.

Students were called up to the stage four at a time, in alphabetical order. They stood before the four Pharmacist Professors to the left who ceremoniously and simultaneously slipped the white coats onto the third year students. It was all quite impressive to watch.

We were not only there to lend our support and witness to this personal step in his life, but also in the lives of his friends and their families.

One particular friend that is very special to him and to us is his beautiful girlfriend, Vi (pronounced Vee).                                            

                                                  

Vi's family was also there for the occasion. They had to drive nearly eight hours to get here... we had a mere 30 minute drive.

My husband and I met Vi's family for the first time since we've known her, and we were so delighted by their company. As we sat in Memorial Hall waiting for our grown children to walk out for their presentation, we chatted as though we had known each other for a long time, sharing stories of our kids growing up. So proud we are of them. Vi's brother was there as well. He's going attend VMI in the fall. What a fine young man he already is at 18 years of age.

                               

Last night, we ate dinner at Vi's and Steven's apartment. The fare was a delicious blend of American and Vietnamese cooking. After dinner, while we walked their dog, Daisy, Vi's mom and I talked. We discovered many things about each other that made us laugh. For instance, we share the same birthday, July 25th.

What I found most interesting about Vi's parents were their stories about how they came to our country over thirty years ago. As we sat in the dining room, Kim told me about how her family came to live here, and I nearly cried to hear the story of their flight to freedom many years ago. Perhaps someday I will be given permission to share their story here, but I don't think I can do it today. I am honored just to know them.

      

I didn't know, when my son was a little boy, that someday he would become a pharmacist. It's not like he was planning to do this all of his life. There were other thoughts and dreams as a young boy... baseball player, doctor, jet fighter pilot, race car driver just to name a few. 

However, during the course of his college career, as he looked at his options, considered his strengths, listened to the advice of his professors, and searched his heart for the right path, he found himself applying to Pharmacy School.

He told me once that he wanted to be in a field where he could work with people, doing something to improve their lives. I remember in high school, chemistry was a subject in which he did exceptionally well. Biologywas another. I always loved biology when I was younger, but never thought to pursue it in any manner other than to draw it.    

These thoughts passed through my head as we watched all those young people walk across the stage to receive their white coats last Friday night. Someday they will work behind the pharmacy counters, filling out prescriptions for sick people, for people in pain, people who have been in accidents, or have had surgery.Those who will work in hospitals will see their patients in a more extreme condition. Doctors and patients both will come to trust and rely on them to make sure that the drugs prescribed will be just the right dosage, will not conflict with any other medication they may be taking, and to make sure healing, recovery, and maintenance will occur in a timely manner.

Patients will call them with questions about their meds, and they will need to know if something is safe to take, or if they should call their doctor. Our children, as pharmacists, will be giving medical advice over the phone and over the counter, they will be advising doctors, and making decisions that affect the lives and lifestyles of their patients.

In a world where a majority of us are in our 50's and older, knowing and trusting our pharmacist is as important as knowing and trusting our doctor, our financial advisor, and our priest/pastor. 

                                             

                                   If he were my pharmacist, I would trust him.

I'm in love!

                                                          

                                                                               Daniel Craig link

                                        I am in love! Look at those blue eyes!

Steve took me to see "Casino Royale" this week, and I had no idea I would come away from a James Bond film in love, but I did.... I had seen the previews, so I knew the actor portraying JB looked strikingly different from all the previous Bonds. Still, I went in with an open mind. After all, I had seen most if not all of the James Bond movies (I've been watching James Bond films since the 60's), and none of them ever disappointed me.

Actually, I had come to recognize a certain science fiction quality to all the Bond stories. Though I had never read any of the books, I had come to enjoy the high technology, the elaborate chase scenes, the tension of espionage and romance, and of course, the entertaining dialogue. James Bond never disappointed me for entertainment value.

If you are a James Bond fan, of his movies ( I don't know as much about the books), then you probably enjoyed all of the above as well... not to mention the great theme songs that preceded every film, and the iconic James Bond targetsilhouettes that also precede the movies... these are just some of the things you look forward to when going to a James Bond movie.

And you know that our ever handsome 007 agent is going to have beautiful women to work with (and bed), evil enemies to fight, and the world to save. Always my favorite elements in the movies were the chase scenes, the gadgets Bond would be introduced to, and the car that would ultimately end up destroyed before too long in the course of the story. You could always count on that.

So, it was with this knowledge and anticipation that we went to the latest James Bond film, and let me tell you, this was, imo, the BEST of James Bond movies ever.

I would say that Daniel Craig did an outstanding performance as James Bond... early James Bond. The story opens with Bond getting his first assignment after having earned his double 0 status.... I found this part of the story quite interesting... I didn't realize how an agent earned those "00s" in his number. Never paid attention to that detail before.

I love Judi Dench. She's been in James Bond films ever since "GoldenEye" (1995). She plays "M," Bond's advisor. She gives him his assignments, and she defends him whenever he screws up. But she has an affection for him, a soft place in her heart for him. Kind of like me, actually.

What I found most interesting in this latest James Bond drama was the almost-absence of high technology... there was some, but not as futuristic as previous stories. Most if not all of the technology used in the story, I believe, is actually used today in one form or another. Even the car wasn't filled with fancy gadgets, unless you count the portable defibrillator in the glove box, which came in handy for one incident (don't want to spoil the scene for you!).

In other words, this James Bond story is probably the most realistic of all the stories, and with Daniel Craig in the role of Bond, he brings to the character more than charm and a deadly aim.

Craig's Bond is athletic... forget the car, he can run, jump, roll, leap, and slide after his target. He cuts and bleeds in a fight, and he is vulnerable in love as well. He is sensitive to his partner when she is traumatized by the violence she has witnessed. He makes mistakes, admits his flaws openly, and seeks forgiveness. His sense of humor doesn't wane, even while being tortured (oooh! that hurt to watch!). He is arrogant, yes, but also considerate. This Bond is a double agent ... a real human being.

But mostly, Craig's Bond is the cutest! I love those blue eyes, and that wonderful, "well-kept body" of his (in reference to a line in the movie).  If there is any way for you to see this on the big screen, I'd say go. Watching it on a small screen just doesn't do Bond action justice... not to mention the cool sound effects that emphasize fast cars, fights in stairwells, exploding buildings, and background music.

If you are just a so-so Bond fan, don't miss this one. If you are a die-hard Sean Connery and only Sean Connery Bond fan, get over it! Mr. Connery, darling accent that he has, got us hooked into Bond, but even he can't be Bond forever. Unless you never watch another Bond film, then I suppose he could be Bond forever in one's mind.

Give the new guy a chance... I can't wait until his next Bond film is released. Surely he will star in another....

 

 

 

Tags: Daniel Craig, James Bond