Of Liquid Fasting and Sodium Phosphate

Today is the day.

I will eat today. I don’t know what time exactly, probably after 3:00, but as soon as I leave the hospital, I will direct my driver husband to the nearest slow foods restaurant, possibly Golden Corral where I can choose from a wide selection of meats, vegetables, salads, and desserts. In that order. I have some making up to do.

My last meal was Wednesday night at 6:30 pm. It is now 9:30 a.m., Friday. When I awoke this morning, I was surprised that my stomach wasn’t growling angrily in protest of being denied food. Actually, it felt nice and calm. I got up to face a leisurely morning, a gift of time. Most Fridays, I am in the classroom by 7:10 or so, but this morning, having The Procedure scheduled for some time after 12:00, I had a preparation regimen to continue, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Still, there was the peaceful pace of a Saturday-like morning, and there was time to make a journal entry. I would take advantage of the “free” time I had been given.

The preparation regimen begins the day before the procedure. A liquid fast of clear liquids is the menu for the day. Beginning with breakfast, clear liquids, including tea and coffee with no milk or dairy creamer (sweetening is okay); clear boullion or broth; Kool-Aid, Sodas, and clear, pulp-free juices are allowed. Not a great choice, but it would keep me going throughout the day, and keep me hydrated, the most important thing to be mindful of when one has to cleanse one’s bowels. I know, too graphic. I’ll try not to mention that again.

Lunch menu is the same. So is dinner. Clear liquids. And guess what you have to drink after you take the first dose of sodium phosphate? Several glasses of water or clear liquids. That was my day yesterday, and I got through it pretty easy enough. I didn't have to take the first dose of sodium phosphate until 3:00, and I knew I could get home in time for that.

My fears over how I would get through Thursday’s class schedule, without dying from hunger from the smells of a hot lunch permeating the halls, were dismissed on Wednesday. That’s when I found out that I had to attend a writing workshop on Thursday. I wouldn’t even be in the classroom! An unexpected reprieve.

Indeed, yesterday I was sitting at a workshop, relatively passive, listening and learning, and away from any odors of cooking foods. I had a can of soda, two bottles of apple juice, and two bottles of water in my bag. I had also brought some chicken boullion cubes to which I could add hot water for lunch. It was a worthwhile workshop. I took notes as ideas of how to implement what I was learning came to me. During the lunch break, I told my co-teacher I’d had some ideas of how to present it to our kids, and she told me she did, too. I can’t wait to find some time to meet with her and get this writing approach started in our grade level. It won’t be before Monday, though.

I followed my doctor’s instructions to the “T”, calling his office before 3:00 to find out what time the procedure was scheduled for on Friday. I was told to be there by 12:15, but really I should arrive 30 minutes earlier to complete registration paperwork.

I drove straight home, wanting to get started on the regimen as soon as possible, to get it over with. I drank the first dosage on time.

I suppose the chemists and doctors involved in creating this laxative solution have made it as palatable as possible, however, it is still very hard to swallow. Saltier than country ham, sweeter than pancake syrup, it had a slight lemon-ginger taste that did little to help it get past the back of my tongue, which almost refused to relax and let it all pass. I told my husband it was like drinking a half-glass of water mixed with 6 or more alka-seltzer tablets dissolved, but without the bubbles of carbonation. I couldn’t drink it all at once like I can that night-time blue cold medicine that takes care of every cold symptom and helps you sleep. I had to ingest it in big sips, followed by a swig of cold water. The only good thing about having to drink it is that after you drink the last dose (there are two), it is done.

I won’t go into the details of how the stuff works, but one must be close to toilet facilities. The label says it should work within 30 minutes to 6 hours. Ten minutes is more like it. Since I hadn’t eaten all day, it all went very easily. The roughest part about the evening was watching the food commercials during Big Brother. Foods that normally don’t get my attention suddenly became very appealing. Hunger pangs were mild, some growling occurred, no more than you would experience had you skipped a meal. I noted that the hunger I felt at 10:00pm was no worse than the hunger I had felt at 10 a.m. that morning. In fact, it is 10 a.m Friday, and the hunger is no worse than it was yesterday morning at the same time.

I kept myself very busy after I got home so I wouldn’t be preoccupied with the hunger thing. Since my bathrooms and kitchen floors needed washing, I set myself to cleaning both bathroom floors, the dining room, and kitchen floor. This is a process that takes about two hours from start to finish if I follow through on removing all pieces of furniture and accessories, including floor vent covers. Only the kitchen floor needed waxing after the washing as the other floors are no-wax, and they look great after a good mopping. After awhile, I told my husband it was okay to go ahead and fix himself something to eat. I didn’t mind if he ate in front of me. He re-heated some leftover pizza (which smelled unusually appetizing to me) while I gave myself a manicure. Staying busy is very important when you can’t eat food. I hear boredom is the worst of triggers to snacking and over-eating.

I took the second dose of sodium phosphate this morning at 9:15 a.m., and now it is just a matter of drinking clear liquids and getting ready. I took a shower, washed and conditioned my hair, and washed a load of clothes this morning. I’m almost ready to go.

I have no idea what to expect except what was told to me by the doctor, and from what I have read on the internet. I will be sedated, and I will be able to return to normal activities within 24 hours. Good thing tomorrow is Saturday. Today, I can sleep and eat, and sleep again.

There are risks, but they are rare. I don’t know for sure if insurance will cover the expense. Was told that I did not need prior approval for the procedure, and that I would find out what’s covered after the insurance received results of the procedure. A Mayo Clinic article on the net said it could cost $800 to $1600, and additional fees may apply. I really don’t care at this point what it costs because two younger siblings have had polyps removed in the past, but there may be others who have not informed me of their health conditions over the years.

So far, the worst part has been drinking that sodium phosphate solution, and the hunger.