Breaking the Thanksgiving Tradition, and Being Thankful

You can view them as a slideshow or as a scrapbook if you click on View larger above. For my family and friends to enjoy. Ah, me.

Since I'll be missing them all, I am placing these pictures in my journal as a reminder. Sorry we couldn't be there with you all. I also included some shots of friends... don't have too many, pictures that is, because only recently acquired the digital camera. Sad. I have so many great pictures to post but they're not digital.

It's Wednesday and tomorrow is the day when many people, (at least in the USA) will be preparing the Thanksgiving feast for their families, their friends, and I hope, for those who do not have the means to prepare their own meals. It is a day steeped in tradition for millions of families.

I am going against tradition this year. I am not going to visit my in-laws for the day, as we have done for the past thirty years. I am going to plan my own Thanksgiving feast here in my own home and begin a new tradition.

It sounds cold and unthinkable to break away from tradition, and it is not a comfortable undertaking. To break away from family tradition will not affect only myself, so I had to make sure this was a thing that could be done without hurting feelings or causing great familial conflict. We live about a 2 hour drive from the rest of the family, so for the past 30 years, my husband, son, and I have made the trek several times a year to partake of the family traditions. In the early years of raising children, there were birthdays to drive to, Easter Sunday dinner, Mother's Day, Father's Day, the Fourth of July, and Christmas were other times when we got together with our family.

Year after year we would drive to visit them, to share in the meals, the laughter, watching the children grow, watching each other grow older, sharing time with the older aunts and uncles and grandparents. As time passed on, so did the older relatives. First a grandparent, then another, then an uncle, an aunt, some distant relatives. Stories were shared from the older generation at these gatherings, the same stories. In the present, the children have become the older relatives, and the grandchildren have started to marry and have children of their own. We older ones, formerly the parents, are now the grandparents, and the great-aunts and great-uncles. The family tradition continues. The house is getting utterly overcrowded!

 Do I really want to break it?

I don't want to break it. I want to change it. It will have to change at some point anyway. At some time in the future, when the matron of the family has passed on, we will want to start our own family traditions, of cooking the meal in our own homes, of having our children and grandchildren come to our house for the day.

So, this week, I am going to break away.

This is not to say that spending time with the extended family has been meaningless. On the contrary, I have always enjoyed our family visits. I've looked forward to them, and planned for them. My brothers and sisters-in-law have been great friends right from the start. There were times when they were my only friends, and our visits each month and on holidays were the highlights of the year for me and my husband. We have practically raised our kids together, watching them grow up, taking pictures at every gathering, making video movies, treasuring the younger years with a passion. We've always been very close. I will always remember with fondness those days of family gatherings.

Yet, our kids are all grown now. Many have completed their college education, and a few have started their own little families. Time does not change, but people do. It's time to start something new.

Time is the valuable commodity here. It seems to go on and on forever, yet we never seem to have enough of it. We all get the same amount of it from day to day, and yet we know that time is running out. So the important thing, I think, is what you do with your time. If you want to live in this world, you need money to pay for the things you perceive as necessary. For the majority of us, that means you have to have a job, and for many, a well-paying job is even more necessary. Working uses up a grand portion of that allotted time each week, and time keeps moving forward, pushing us along with the current of daily events, personal and global. It's going to pass on with or without us. 

People take up our time, in various ways. Our friends and family want a part of that time, rightly so. Relationships take time to build, to nurture, to maintain over the years. The care of our homes and our bodies take time. See how fast either falls apart when they are neglected. When one's personal needs are provided for, however,one is able to take the next step in living a mature, self-actuated life. Serving and providing for the needs of others, though a humble and charitable profession, also takes up time. And if one has other areas of interest, like hobbies or other creative endeavors, only time given to the pursuit of these can nurture and develop one's inborn talents. It's a wonder one has time to sit and read a book!

Alas, we try to keep up with the changes in our lives as this forward rush propels us into the unknown that lies ahead. Some may experience it as a surfer, balancing on a perfect wave. Thrilling and exciting, it leaves one breathless and in awe. Others are walking as one cautiously groping her way through the darkness of a sacred cave, knowing that soon a distant glowing light will appear to signal that she is home. Still others feel the forward movement as one climbing a great mountain, running a marathon, treading water, or even, as I felt last week, as one drowning. However it is felt, one thing is for certain: it doesn't stop pushing us along until we take our last breath.

I am thankful for the time I am given, however short or long it may be, however I may fret about the things I have to do from week to week, or even day to day. Before work, and before play, before reading, or sleeping, or eating, before friends, and before family, I must give some time to be in the presence of the One who set the moon and planets in motion, who placed the stars in the sky, and created the sun that warms us and gives us light for half the day. I am thankful for His grace and goodness in my life.

I am verythankful for my husband and my son, the two men whose being forever changed mine. Though we are three separate beings now, I remember that once, we were one, and I remember all the joy and newness of our new life together long ago. Though time has turned my hair gray, the memories are still youthful and vibrant. I am thankful for a brain that remembers them!

I don't know exactly how Thanksgiving dinner at my house will play out tomorrow. I just know that I am going to do it. Turkey or ham? I haven't even decided. Probably that decision will be made at the grocery store. More later on how that went.

I have to go now, lot's of work to do for tomorrow's Thanksgiving meal!