Detour

The quiet week continues, with a little detour today.

I had some errands to run, involving automobile tags, notary, the tax office, and car insurance. My husband had hit a horse on his way to work last week, and the car was totaled. He's alright.

It wasn't his fault... it was early morning 5 a.m. dark, and he came out of a curve only to be blinded by a spotlight shining in his face, followed by the impact his car made with something that sent the car into the air. Later, he found out the sequence of events that lead up to his accident.

The horse had gotten out of its owner's fence, was on the road, a car came upon it and hit it. Its head went through the windshield (poor animal!), the driver was okay, but the horse was dead (such a beautiful animal), in the middle of the road. The property owner was located, and a neighbor came out with the spotlight. While they waited for the state trooper, here comes my husband in his Buick. The neighbor thought to warn him, and flashed the light at the car (why didn't he hold the light on the dead horse in the road?), which blinded my husband, and he ran into the horse. Pushed it right off the road, actually.

The insurance man came out a few days later and did an assessment, and decided the car was totaled. There was paper work to take care of, so I took care of some of it yesterday, and some of it today.

While I was in town, I remembered what my doctor told me last week. I had gone to her for help with some health issues. I'm not sleeping well, hot flashes are increasing in frequency and intensity, and then there's the cholesterol level I'm trying to keep lowered (so far with fish oil and low fat meals).

She had considered all my questions, my age, my state of health, my family history, and my job. She suggested that before we try hormones for the hot flashes (I'm in a high risk category due to family history of heart disease and stroke), I should exercise regularly. I mentioned Curves. Her face lit up. She said Curves, or a gym would be just the thing for me. She highly recommended either one.

She's been telling me to exercise regularly every since I started seeing her for our family physician. My OB-Gyn told me the same thing many years ago, when I was young and fit and couldn't imagine that the little weight I was gaining each year could ever amount to his prediction of 180 pounds by the time I was 50. I was only just under 5 feet.... I doubted I could walk if I weighed close to 200 pounds. He must be joking with me, I had thought to myself.

When I was a petite 115, I thought I was big. I hear lots of ladies say the same thing: that when they look back at their pictures, and see how small they really were, they are surprised because in their minds, they were big. And they felt ugly big. It's one thing being big, and being comfortable in your skin, and loving yourself, dressing well, and walking tall. The posture of confidence over-rides bigness. I know many large ladies whom I admire for their attitude about their beauty: they are aware of it, inside and out. They carry themselves proudly, like queens.

I didn't have that awareness when I was a younger woman. I don't know why, it doesn't matter any longer. I'm all grown up now, and I've come to be more comfortable in my skin. But now it's not about feeling beautiful on the inside and accepting myself for the way I am. It's about my heart and my cholesterol, and how I feel physically, which lately has been tired. Every day, I am so tired when I get home.

How can a person feel good about being tired all of the time?

Which is why I went to my doctor last week. I hoped she would rule out other illnesses and conditions that would render a woman my age into exhaustion. She ran some blood tests.

Exercise is the key, she says. I'm ready to make good choices... one of them being to change my sedentary lifestyle. So I checked out the gym and the exercise place. Both of them are just a block from my school. Convenience is on my side. I chose the gym. It's bigger, way more equipment, there are exercise classes four days a week, and a tanning bed if I would care, for free!

I started today. The trainer spent an hour with me orienting me to the equipment... real cool machines. The treadmills have all the high tech gadgets on it. I punch in my weight, and it measures my heart rate, the speed I'm walking, the calories I'm burning, distance walked. I can adjust the incline by increments, or set it to adjust automatically.

I attended the exercise class at 5:00. First was a power workout with small weights, followed by an aerobics workout dancing to 80's music. The class was small. The women were a mix of ages, a few were my age. I felt comfortable there.

That was the detour I took today. Tomorrow I'm going to buy one or two outfits to exercise in. What I wore today was what I wore ten years ago to walk around the block...way too heavy for working out. Way too 90's!

I won't be mentioning it again because I don't like talking about exercise and diet. This is not Bea's exercise or diet journal. But if some profound thinking comes out of it, or if something amusing or incredible happens while I'm there, I might write about that.

Of course, this means I have to go at least 3-4 times a week. There will be no toning up and improving cardio-vascular fitness if I don't go to the gym. It's a mental thing now.... I've got to make myself go until it becomes a habit.

Read "I'm really a Renaissance Woman" by Marie. Her entry about inner beauty and outer transformation speaks for many of us mature women. Plus there is tasty potato recipe you may want to try.

And to the fellas out there who love their wives, who say kind things to them, who encourage them in their pursuits, help around the house, take care of their wives and treasure them and honor them ... God bless you all! Our lives are richer and fuller because of you.

Tags: Fitness, health, inner beauty, physical transformation