Vigil for Barry

Those who regularly post entries in their journals/blogs will appreciate this ... and when I say regularly, I mean daily, even weekly... monthly is stretching it a bit. But who am I to decide what defines 'regularly' regarding journaling? After all, I myself, once an avid daily journaler (in paper versions) have converted to what appears to be even less than once a week in this online format of journaling.

But if you journal daily or even several times a week, you know that eventually, you need a break. The computer has proven to be addictive to those of us who have learned to navigate in and create with one. I am guilty, so guilty. When I'm not writing my own entries, I am reading others' entries, and leaving comments. Either way, as entry writer or comment writer, much time is spent entering into these almost one-sided conversations. Not to mention the time downloading photos and making movies to post into my journal entries.

Some of the journals I visit daily because I have them on my alerts. Some I visit because I have them listed on my desktop as favorites, like a bookmark list. Still others I visit when they leave me a link in my comment section, especially if it is a link to their journal... it just makes my job easier, and takes less time than for me to have to try to hunt them down. I seldom hunt them down, though... time is a big factor. So leave your links to your journals, and I will come by to reciprocate.

Back to my original statement: those who write regularly know that when they have to be away from their habit of journaling, they must leave a message to their online friends out there. It doesn't matter what draws us away, but it's a form of etiquette to inform one's readers when one is going to be away for an extended period of time. Or even an email to one's readers if one doesn't want the general public to know. It's not a wise thing to announce, for example: I will be gone from my home beginning Friday morning through Tuesday, and no one will be home to guard my house. That's like opening the doors and windows of your house and inviting unknown stalkers into your home to plunder.

So when one of our online friends stops posting entries, we may wonder, and think he is on vacation. Or tied up with work, or has a full and active life. Perhaps he forgot to mention that he would be gone for a week or so. But we wait until he comes back to explain his absence.

After we don't hear from him for two months, we begin to imagine that he's sick or injured, in the hospital, unable to access the computer, or even unaware. We leave comments in his journal so that when he returns, he will see them, and know of our concern. We send him emails expressing our hope that he gets well and returns soon.

In the past, I've come across journal entries written by a family member of the journaler, telling us our friend is unable to write ... she's in the hospital... or that she is gone, has passed on. Or a friend will leave a comment in the journaler's last entry page telling us all that he or she has died. Knowing that our friend has passed on, we can have our own memorial, and lay them to rest.

We have a friend in J-land who hasn't posted since February 15 of this year. Comments from him have stopped. A few of you may recognize his name, may even have visited him from time to time. His name is Barry, aka BBartle3 (journal Vengeance) he was/is in his 80's, and has a very young family. I've mentioned him before, and until yesterday, I wondered if he had just quit cold turkey, and left.

But as a regular reader of his journal, I don't think he'd quit cold turkey. I do believe he would have at least emailed us (his regular readers) to let us know that he would be away, that he was quitting, or whatever. He was in touch with us at least that much. None of us have heard from him.

We (his friends) have begun to assume he had passed away. His wife nor his children may have access to his screenname, or don't know how to access his journal to leave us a message.

Often, I click into Barry's journal just to see if anyone has left a message of hope, even bad news, in the comment section. Yesterday, there was a message from someone I had never heard of before. Someone who left a hurtful, unkind, biting message in the comment section. If Barry were there, he'd delete the guy's screen name and the comment, I'm sure.

Reading those words was a jolt... but they do not confirm that Barry is dead. I don't know anything about the person who left that message, and judging by his choice of words, I can't even trust that the main point of it is true.

So, in the meantime, I'm going to say that those of us who know Barry (in the J-land community) are holding a vigil. We are watching, and waiting. We are praying that Barry's family is okay, that his wife and their four kids are okay. If he is in the hospital, we will pray for him. If he has just 'disappeared,' we will wait for him to return... with an appropriate explanation, of course!

Until I know more than that, until I can read a newspaper obituary, or hear from his family, I will pray for him, for them.

If you would like to be part of the vigil, just click on the link to his journal and leave a comment expressing your hope that he is well. As soon as I've heard any news, I will post it.

Tags: BBartle3, Vengeance, vigil for Barry